Bonded Goddess – Chapter 30.5

As Imperial princess, I believe political marriage is normal. But I cannot believe that I would be engaged to marry my childhood friend that I’ve been considered as brother!  Yes, my fiancé is my childhood friend. His name is Leonardo, I cared for him but I don’t love him as opposite member of sex. I tried to see him as one before but in the end, I can’t…

Before I was engaged to him, I have no absolutely interested in love matter. My best friend, Fianna really interested on that matter while she herself was totally clueless about this matter as well.

Sigh, I wish she focus on magic that she love most instead finding me man….

Yes, as clueless she was, she would find me a man that might worthy of me which very unnecessary. But since she took effort to find them, I reluctantly agreed to meet them… which lead me to my disappointment as I expected.  Fianna only selected strangers instead of people I’m familiar back in the academy or army and I find them… boring, useless, opportunities and pervert. They are not worthy. Especially, after accident with candidates number XX, I end up nearly killing him because he was trying to come onto me and defile me.

Fianna apologize to me and I forgive her for meddling with my love matter.  At that very moment, I also finally realized that there is no man worthy of being with me. But on my whim and some occasions, I try to find worthy gentlemen of myself but again, I end up with annoying candidates. They are basically has same traits that Fianna recommended and few of them more annoying.

I unable to find my ideal man… According to Fianna, my standard of ideal man was too high or just too weird for her.  Maybe she’s right. It was too weird.

My elder sister, Elsha nee-sama tries to voice my interests and tries to find the right man I would like, but I feel like she is ignorant to what I really want as her tastes for man are too different from mine.

One day, on certain banquet that being held in the palace. Yes, this was one of annoying banquets for political and social interests. This banquet bore me. And these infuriating gluttonous young men always prey on me. They are relentless in their attacks and always approach me. Why can’t these idiots leave me alone? They aren’t worthy of my time. Just thinking that I need to spend my previous time with all of these nobles make me want to kill them myself.

Then out of nowhere, my father suddenly announced my engagement with Leonardo to everyone. Everyone was shocked including me. While Leonardo, he looks so happy and then looked at me with so much passion and love. I can only smile wry at his innocent gaze.

While I despise that my father’s thoughtless decision and made me feel miserable, I did not voice my concerns against my own father. How can I? This world still views women as tools. My father, no, most males I encountered sees me as an object. Leonardo? He is good.

i I silently accept my fate as Evelyn Rateliwyra Ruby Li Vaerian, the second princess of Holy kingdom of Vaerian!

Then few months after engagement announcement, my father order me to perform a cleansing ritual on Lieben Forest when full two month arrived. He said I need to do this before as I will receive blessing by our gods and have prosper life. He was so eager about this, I guess having Leonardo as my husband giving him a peace of mind.

Thus, I went to Lieben forest without knowing that will change my life.

—-

And that’s few weeks ago… I’m not really in good mood to retelling what happen there…

But as you know, the event on Lieben Forest leads me to my fateful meeting with my beloved, Kyou. Man from another world. At first, I hate him… then I fell for him. Love is weird, right? Well, I fell in love with him because I understand what kind of person he was… How do I know that? Well, I saw his memories. Life with him was very magical to me. That kind of life was what I desired the most!

But thanks to him being impatient about getting money and job, now I was house arrested and confined here, while waiting for my wedding day. I really wish that man listen to me when I told him selling Leo’s gift, so we can live in leisure instead of returning to this world.

But I can’t blame him on that as I shared the blame as well, no…  It was entirely my fault. I should tell him about my situation instead of hiding it. Now, we both suffer because of it. When I remember we were forced to separate because of me, I can only sigh heavily. And just remembering his expression when he found about my fiancé broke me.

Without noticing me sighing, the maids continue to prepare my outfit and hair. Even though, I am a princess. I can put my own clothes on. I can clean after myself and attend to my own well-being but the maids insist on dressing me and they attend to most of my needs. I only wish my father would let me do what I want, it’s not like I can run with this bracelet still attached on my wrist.

This bracelet, not only could seal connection between Kyou and I, it also seal my power. So right now, I was nothing but weak and fragile woman.

With my long silver hair being brushed, I just gaze at the mirror in front of me. Standing at 5.8 feet tall, my proud ruby eyes stares at my curvy, slender figure covered in this silver gown dress. The dress emphasizes on every aspect of my womanly part especially my breast displaying all the beauties I exemplify.  My pale skin complexion shines from the dazzling sun passing through the transparent windows of my room as the maids continue to dress me.

This is nothing but showing off. This entire outfit can make anyone stand out and it would be gorgeous on me. Well, that’s normal.

I hear an approving comment to my right side, “Princess, You look gorgeous!”

The other maid nodded in agreement.  I can only give her a smile over something oblivious. Turning to the maid, “I have been wearing similar clothes all these years. Can you just say it is boring? I prefer wearing my military uniform instead of this.”

The maids just chuckle at my word and continue her works.

Yes, I could wear something else like military uniform. Regular outfit also will do, like the clothes that man has provide me. I love those clothes so much…. And I miss him.

After finish dressing, I walk out of my own room and went to the garden which is my only paradise. No one ever dare disrupt me when I have my tea time, except my father.

The garden was a set of rings filled with all kinds of flowers and in the center of all the rings was a white gazebo. A stone pathway cut through all the rings and led to the gazebo and inside of it was a white table with four chairs. I took one of the seats and maids began to set the table with sweets and different tea. After that, they leave me alone and I can drink the tea silently while enjoying the quiet on the garden.

As I sip my tea, I heard footsteps, I knew it was him.

Who was it? It was my beloved Kyou. I thought I couldn’t see him anymore but then out of nowhere, he actually appeared before me again!  When we are separated, I starting to unable to breath, my heart were hurting so much and I starting to fell into depression as I was going to married man that’s not him, which made me feel betraying him just like what his ex-wife did to him…

Now, we are reunited again! My depression had relieved over time. It had been an amazing feeling to see and feel my love again. When I hear his voice I feel limb, as his manly hands hold me firm and tightly next to his muscular chest make feel sense of security and warmness.

“You are late, Kyou…” I said without thinking too much further ahead.

“Excuse me?” a familiar voice of Sera answered as she stepped on my garden. “It Is I, Evelyn.”

I was stunned; she was the last person I would expect to visit me, I never thought she would actually come here. What is she doing here?

“Sera?”

“Evelyn,” She replied with a cold voice.

“Please, come in…” I started, but she just walked in without caring, she was simply inviting herself.

“Want tea?”

“Sure,” Sera said smiling as she sat down at the chair, but there was something in her smile.

I gathered the teapot and cups then pour the tea for her.

“You never come here. What’s the occasion?” I asked surprised. “Is your brother back yet??”

“No, he still in Calasitine,” Sera started with her usual tone. “Not that you’d care much, do you?”

I sigh; she had always been like that. The whole Taebutopia Rey family, they had always been all the same. She’s the worse though, not necessarily that she’s the only woman, but a youngest as well. I could almost compare her to the little sister of my own.

“How come?” I replied to her arrogant, and frankly, quite a rude question.

Sera just smirked as she looked around.

“So, how do you do?” Sera said as she drinks the tea.

“Better,” I knew she could see that I was feeling better; I never was much of a liar anyways.

“Yeah, sure. I can see that.” Sera smirked.

“So, what bring you here?”

“Okay. I’ll tell you.” She started with a small giggle. “I am in love.”

Why did she tell me this? She never wanted to be my friend, and now we act like a good friend. Our relationship was complicated. Since childhood, I always tried to befriend her, but she just kept kicking me away. Keeping her distance and biding her time even though she the only girl that grew up with me apart from my sisters and Fianna.

“Ohhh, I’m glad to hear that! I am happy for you!” I acted happy, where in fact I was a little surprised. Still…

“Are you really?” Sera asked with serious tone.

“What do you mean?”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Sera said and cupped her hands around the teacup. “You know I have a new bodyguard?”

I poured tea for her and myself, and almost spilled it after hearing this. It had felt like somebody would’ve struck my head with a large club. The anxious feeling went through my body and seemed to stick inside` my stomach.

“Yes, his name was… Kousuke, wasn’t it?” I needed to keep my cool, despite how hard it was to breathe.

“It’s him” Sera giggled and took a sip from a tea.

She backed away as the tea was still steaming. “Oh, still hot.”

As Sera blew to her tea, I could feel the world was breaking into a chasm under me. It felt I was falling into the pit of lava!

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked as I tried myself to calm down. I felt dizzy, but I couldn’t let her see it.

Sera was grinning. I didn’t like that expression at all.

“Well, the truth is. I know about you and him.”

I suddenly felt the world around me crashed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Don’t play with me, Evelyn.” Sera snapped. “It’s no use.”

“….I don’t, in fact, if you recall, we never did.”

Sera giggled and leaned back crossing her legs. She knew she had all the power in this conversation. So, that’s it then. Kyou would be imprisoned then. No. I won’t allow it.

“How do I found out? I saw him last night. I was strolling in the halls, and I saw a him walking in the dark hallway.” Sera started enjoying the situation.

“It could’ve been anyone…”

“No, Evelyn. Be quiet.” Sera said. “TR knights don’t sneak around like that, you know?”

Sera scoffed and I responded calmly, but inside, I was furious.

“Let’s see here… So, I walked on the hallway and saw this man slipping inside my dear brother’s private mansion. Unauthorized.”

Oh no…  I can’t… Kyou, I am sorry… The world was spinning, and Sera’s face seemed like a disfigured mess. I focused on my all strength.

“Yes. I was baffled and shocked… I was thinking about how he dares; doesn’t he know that this will lead him to get executed?” Sera smiled. “But in the end, it got even more shocking than I thought when I follow him inside!”

“Still…it could your brother’s guard.”

“It was him. Knowing his pervert nature, I thought it was a maid then I keep following him.” Sera said leaning towards me.  “I do know that he went into your room.”

I sipped my tea. I answered the question with a question – okay let’s play your game then, Sera.

“You’re grasping on straws, Evelyn. You know we’re allowed to do anything here? You think I couldn’t handle my own brother, c’mon now.” Sera nodded confidently and took a sip off the tea. “It’s perfect. Juuuuust right.”

She was acting like a cat playing with its food.

“Okay. I admit. I am having an affair with him. He’s new, and I took advantage of him…” I lied, but I couldn’t finish the sentence. I can’t lie… Just end it.

“Evelyn. No. Stop. Lying doesn’t suit you. As much I dislike you, I know you… but to disguising yourself as adulterous just to protect him.” Sera laughed.

“I overheard your conversation. He’s from another world. He’s your lover; a man called ‘Kyou’.”  Sera said. “Or a rapist, as my brother used to call him for a while. Just between us, I think Leonardo might be wrong.”

She was even adding an insult to injury. I was shocked; I truly was. I felt the heat rising on my face; how embarrassing. I finalized my defeat.

“So, that’s it then?” I asked.

It was silent. She didn’t answer straight away, but it didn’t seem to matter all that much; I had failed in every way you could put it.

Sera took another sip from her tea. “Just like I said, as much as I dislike you and your actions. I won’t cause any harm to you or him.”

“Are you being serious or just mocking me?” I asked in disbelief.

“As much as it bothers me, I am serious,” Sera reassured. “But guess what? It feels so wrong, you know.”

“What’s that?

“That our feelings of Leo Nii-sama are 100% alike,” Sera said. “It breaks my heart.”

She was correct. I grew up with the TR family. I had seen Leonardo as a sibling, my brother. I never see him as lover potential.  After all, Leonardo was a hero of our people with a noble birthright. In the eyes of numerous women, he was a perfect man. I knew I had to marry him one day but always dismissed the thought as ‘something I just simply need to learn to accept’. What I felt didn’t matter, only the wellbeing of my people mattered.

Until he came…. He matched my personal tastes perfectly. I always longed for a simple man with wild appearance that oozed hopelessness – a pathetic man, who I could take care of and spoil him to bits.

“I don’t want Leonardo to marry a woman who doesn’t love him back.” Sera shook her head in disapproval of this whole charade.

“But I guess neither of us wants to hurt him,” I replied truthfully.

We agreed in silence. I was becoming restless as Sera hadn’t mentioned anything about the thing I honestly, cared the most. She was so confident. What had she done.

“What exactly happened between you and Kyou during the trip?” I hesitantly asked, part of me didn’t want to know.

“Wait a minute, let me ask you this first…” Sera suddenly jumped as a reaction to my question. “What does, Kousuke… Umm, Kyou, know about you? I meant have you ever told about anything about being a princess or about yourself?”

My eyes darting away anxiously, unable to meet Sera’s. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t it was too much to handle at once…

“I…” I blurted.

“I see… You didn’t tell him anything! Aren’t you a nasty one? You claimed to be his lover yet he know nothing about you?! I would be so much better lover than you.” Sera stated arrogantly.

“Hey! What do you know about being a lover! You’re still a virgin!”  I had insulted her, but she just kept smiling. It was ominous.

“You’re still a virgin, right?” I repeated as the nauseating feeling raised to my throat.

Oh no… please… I trusted Kyou with all of my heart, but Sera was devious like a flower like hallucinating pollen from a beautiful flower.

Sera broke the silence with a drawn-out sigh. “We flirted mostly. I mean, he answered my flirt, but he never allowed me… Us to advance any further…”

I sighed in relief… What a relief!

“Well, you’re lucky to have such beauty face, but to be fair, that’s all you got.” Sera snapped, crossing her arms.

I know, I was blessed with a gift of beauty and advantages of a princess, but I never bragged about it. At that moment, I realized that I had a side that nobody, not even Sera knew I had. I might not have told Kyou about myself, but we had something special. I had discovered my perverted side with the man of my dreams. I wouldn’t have ever imagined experiencing such a wide variety of pleasure or even do something that naughty. Before him I had only thought about kissing and simply making love to someone while masturbating. Quite a simple fantasy, but he had convinced me to think otherwise. This was one of our cherished secrets.

Sera and I just sat there – not knowing what to say.

“Would you share?” Sera said all of a sudden.

“…”

What did she just say? Share Kyou? Share my man with her?!

“Can we share him? I don’t mind.” Sera repeated, shrugging and filing her nails.

“NO! He’s my man, and nobody else’s.” I screamed.

“Are you kidding me? After what you’ve done to my brother and whole family?” Sera stated clearly offended. “Where was this loyalty when you cheated my brother?”

“I never meant to hurt him. You know that, Sera.” I admit – that hurt.

Sera waited for me to elaborate my answer, but I won’t back down on this matter!

“My decision is final! I won’t share him! He is belong to me!” I loudly said to her as a sign of my dominance.

Sera let out her giggle, and then her face got all serious.

“I can see that. A true blueblood.” Sera said, sarcasm dripping from her lips. “We do think highly about ourselves. Admit it.”

“No. I didn’t ask for any of this.” I waved my hand all around the hut.

Since I was a little girl, I yearned for a normal life. Instead of luxuries even if most of the common folk would give their right hand for the privileges I possess. What they don’t know is that everything comes with a responsibility. A burden that feels like a rock on your shoulders, weighting you down and eventually drowning you in your own decisions.

I never wanted to be a princess, despite the unconditional love of my people. Yes, I love my people in all of my heart; it feels like they know that I am the only one who really gets them. But on the flipside, this makes me the only suitable heir for the throne. I guess…

Elsha refused to take place as a queen, and according to our laws, she had an option to do so. Why the first born always gets to choose, and the rest of us can’t? Why was she the first one in a century to refuse this glory? Could I overrule this law when I was a queen so my children wouldn’t have to suffer in the same conditions? No. What goes around comes around, I can’t change everything. As for Emilia, she definitely will leave the Kingdom if she was chosen as the Queen.

“Ironic,” I said, “How much even the ruler, king or queen is chained, even though every noble, every common think otherwise.”

Sera didn’t answer; she just stared me with her smug smile. She knew, but she was a lucky one. Not me. She had been blessed with a big brother that willingly took his place at the head of the family….

“This is the most time we ever spend together, you know.” I was feeling melancholic since I always thought Sera would get me.

It was painful to think that this indeed was a case, but we were rivals now.

“Hmph. But unlike you, I don’t need to live in secret.” Sera stood up.

“…..Is that a threat?” I followed her movements.

“Take it as you will, but I tell you something that hopefully makes you reconsider my offer; I won’t give up on him.”

“Good luck.” I wasn’t a type to scoff at such threats, but I thought I can trust my beloved.

“I just want to say before I leave that: not everything is always about you, princess. Kousuke; Kyou is my way to happiness.” Sera walked up to a door. “One day, your dear Kyou comes up to and says he prefers me over you. I wonder… What will you do on that day, Evelyn.”

Sera smirked as she sparing me a singular glance before she exited my garden.

The meeting with Sera had left me hollow. It had made me realize something; I was equally imprisoned. I couldn’t do anything for life I wanted to have. I could only sit and spend my days waiting until Kyou figures out a plan. I must tell him, but I couldn’t just barge out and run and tell him to beware Sera’s seductive tricks. Even though, chances are pretty high that Sera had already told him to be somewhere or do something as she had come here to offer this peculiar deal of sharing a man.

Only if I could get rid of this cursed bracelet… I could actually speak to him.

“How do you come off…” I stared at my bracelet pinching it.

It was a solid metal bracelet that most importantly was spellbound. I had tried my fair share of spells, and tools to get this off, but it wasn’t any use. I had only injured myself.

“Only if I would be better, Kyou.”

I cannot live like this. No more. Are they going to keep this forever? Bound to my own agony of ignorance? What an embarrassment for a future queen, if I’d ever choose to be one.

There must be a spell to release me from this shackle. And if there’s a spell. I know, Fianna would know about it, surely.

No matter. I know I can figure out something. The motivation overpowered the hollow feeling and so I started tinkering, meditating, and experimenting what would truly lift the curse far worse than the one cyclopes casted.

Funny to think that this time it had been the people I cared about.

 

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