Chapter 1: The failed proposal

“Fuck…” I mutter to myself, closing my eyes yet again, trying to fall asleep. It is already 5 o’clock in the morning and still, I can’t sleep. Or we can say, I am so nervous that sleep is probably the last thing that is going to come to me; no matter how much I wish for it.  

I even took some sleeping pills last night, as a precaution. I had a bad premonition that this would happen. You must be wondering, why am I trying so hard to fall asleep, right?  

Because today is probably the biggest day of my life. If I succeed today, I will become the happiest guy on Arasia, probably. And if I fail? I will commit suicide.   

No, wait, that would be too extreme. I don’t think I have what it takes to commit suicide, but I am sure I would be devastated and my whole life would probably be destroyed.  

You might be thinking, what the heck am I going to do?  I am going to propose a girl. Not just any girl, mind you, the most beautiful girl in my high school; Lily Storm. She’s not just beautiful, she’s the most popular person in my school too. Every girl in my school wants to be her friend and every guy wants to date her. Though fortunately for me, she only entertains the former.  

Her father is a big businessman too. He holds a considerable amount of influence in our school, though, mostly through donations.  

After a male teacher got sacked for passing a sexual comment on her, people started looking at her in awe and fear.  

Now, people might think that I must be some hot looking rich dude with ladies throwing themselves at me wherever I go, just because I am thinking about proposing a girl like her(Well, to be honest, they do throw at me, not themselves but things, when they find me annoying and want to hit me). Yes, this might be the qualification, one needs, to even get a chance at a girl like Lily. But sadly, I am none of that.  

I belong to a middle-class family. My mother is a housewife and my father is a simple employee at a company. Though I don’t look that bad; I am nothing special either. I manage to pass the exams every time but my grades are average, a bit on the lower side, but never mind.   

The point is, no one would ever expect a guy like me to propose to a girl like Lily. And even if someone like that does propose to her, only a rejection would await him. Now, you might think, why I am so nervous when the fate of my proposal is already decided, shouldn’t I already give up?  

No, hah, because I am different. I have a trump card that no other guy has: I’m her childhood friend.   

We met when we both were 11. The meeting was but by chance; I was going to the market when a saw a girl around my age silently crying in front of a closed shop.  

She looked so cute and beautiful, even while crying, that it was love at first sight. I decided that day that this girl is going to be my wife (I was a kid, okay).   

I walked up to her with, trying to look like an adult (which I am sure I failed miserably) and asked her why she was crying. It turned out, that she came to the market with her mother to buy something but she somehow got separated and don’t know the way home.  

This is my chance, I thought at that time. How many times a guy gets such a chance to be a hero in front of a beautiful girl like this. After that we searched the entire market (hand-in-hand, by the way, I nearly died of joy) for her mother; I finally managed to reunite them and in turn, made a friend out of her.  

And my friendship with her is still paying off, even 6 years later. Even my admission in this prestigious school is by her father’s recommendation. There is no way they would have taken me in looking at my grades.   

Coming back to the topic: I am the only guy she talks to in school, and she even spends more time with me than her friends. This gets me a lot of jealous and hateful looks from guys and girls alike, sometimes even leading to bullying. But I don’t mind in the slightest, because I have Lily and they don’t.  

But still, being friends, even childhood friends, don’t guarantee that my proposal is going to be a success, right? I thought of that a long time ago. For the past few months, I have been sending subtle hints in my speech and behavior, that I might be thinking to propose to her. And to be honest, I think I have been getting some positive feedback.   

Even in all these years since we’ve been friends, I always tried never to get too much into her friend-zone. I tried my hardest to maintain an atmosphere, where she was always conscious of me as a person of the opposite sex. I also make sure that she doesn’t get too comfortable around me in that way. I once saw a nightmare where she came up to me and told me about this guy she likes as a friend would; I still get chills thinking about that.  

Well, all-in-all, I am fairly confident that my efforts I put all these years have become fruitful. And if I propose to her now, she will most probably say yes.   

Though I am confident, nervousness still comes uninvited and thus I am having a hard time falling asleep right now. It’s only an hour left till my alarm would go off, shit, I won’t be able to look my best today in this sleep deprived state. Even though I was preparing for it since a month before, I never thought that sleep would become my biggest enemy yet.  

Hmm, I think there is no way I would fall asleep now, might as well get ready for school and check out my preparations again. I look around my room in a daze, blinking my eyes several times, relieving them of the slight pain I am feeling due to lack of sleep, before standing up and moving towards my bathroom.  

I brush my teeth vigorously, rinse my mouth several times with mouth-wash before getting into the shower. Even though its nothing much, but still, I have to look my best today. Thinking that I lather up my whole body with soap, scrubbing it rigorously.  

After drying up with a towel, I move out of the bathroom and start dressing up for school. I grab my school bag lying in the corner and stuff a few books while looking at the schedule today.  

Now, it’s time to pack the most important thing.   

I bend down and look under my bed. There it is, my prized gift, which I am going to propose Lily with. I carefully take out the royal blue colored box.  

Even an idiot could tell just by looking at the box, that something expensive is inside it. But just in case, let me tell you what it is, it’s chocolate, but not just any chocolate, it is from an internationally famous shop, which makes a limited amount of these handmade high-quality chocolates every month.  

Obviously, they go for a very high price, not only because they are of incredible quality, but also because there is a waiting list for over 6 months.   

As you can guess, it’s even more difficult to get for a middle-class guy like me. But I still got it, though, I had to work hard doing part-time jobs and I also save my monthly allowances for more than a year, but still, at least I got it.  

Why? Because Lily once mentioned how much she liked these and how she couldn’t buy more because of the waiting list. It will be a surprise for her to see these, I am sure. And now, I can proudly say that I have been working on this proposal for years (though I won’t, as it may sound like I am a bit too obsessed with her).   

I carefully put the chocolate inside my bag and opened the door of my room to go downstairs. My mum is already up and in the kitchen making breakfast. She is a kind looking lady with a gentle air around her. Her body is slender and she has typical black hair and brown eyes.  

I greeted my mother good morning and sat down on the dining table.  

“You are up early, didn’t sleep well?” she asks with a little worried look on her face. I tell her it’s nothing and start eating my sandwich at a slightly faster pace than usual.  

I walk out of my house and start heading towards my school. On the way, I picked some fresh red roses to give with the chocolate. As I get closer to my destination, my nervousness also starts to rise proportionally. I can feel my hands shaking a bit.  

After a few minutes walk, I can see the outline of my school. It’s still much early for anyone to be in there right now, but I need to calm myself down and practice what I am going to say in the proposal.  

Well, the gates are open, so at least the guard is there. I get past the gate but instead of going inside the school building, I walk towards the school grounds. Lily usually comes early to practice running with the other members of the athletic club.  

I plan to meet her here and propose so that I can avoid getting those murderous glares from my classmates. Even the thought of my classmates sends a shiver down my back. I don’t know how they will react but one thing is for sure, my already unfavorable image is going to fall even further.  

I sit on one of the empty benches on the ground, from where I can see the entrance gate of the school. I don’t want Lily to suddenly appear before me when I am not ready.   

She should come any minute now. I feel a sudden sense of nausea and a feeling to puke rise up. Man, I shouldn’t have eaten those sandwiches. Well, I can finally say; I have never been more nervous than this in my life.  

I hear a faint laugh coming from the school gate. With a jerk I look up, there she is; Lily storm, walking in while talking to someone on her phone. Suddenly, a fearful feeling rose inside me. Seeing her, out of nowhere, all the confidence I had till now blew up.   

Her long silvery blond hair looks so beautiful fluttering in the wind. Her deep blue eyes seem so cheerful as she laughs. Her skin, as smooth and fair as a pearl, glowing in the morning rays of the sun. Even her figure is so lovely, I can see her big, bountiful breast even from this far. On top of her beautiful face, her curvaceous figure is the reason why so many guys and girls like her to the point of worship.  

There is no way a girl so beautiful will ever say yes to me. All of my confidence was nothing but a farce. I feel like, all the signs I have been seeing, thinking that she also likes me, were false. Maybe she didn’t even understand that I was trying to flirt with her all along.   

Though I am the only guy she talks to in school, maybe that’s because she thinks I will never hit on her? Or it may be so because she knows, that we are so far apart that no matter how much I try, we will never be together.   

Fuck, just stop thinking, I tell myself. I have already decided, whatever happens, there is no going back. Today, I will either become her boyfriend or will never see her again. I know, that may sound extreme, but if that happens, our friendship will never be the same. And I also prefer not to stick around; I don’t think that my heart can handle if another guy takes away the girl I love so dearly in front of my eyes.  

Oh my god, she is coming this way. I don’t think she has noticed me.  

So, here it comes, the moment of my life.   

*THUD*  

I hear a dull sound of something hard hitting on a soft surface. A strong pain appears on my head and a sudden sense of numbness spread throughout my body; my consciousness is fading away as I slowly fall to the ground… 

 

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