Chapter 2

The Protagonist with a Cheat


Somewhere in the immortal realm.

“Hahahahahahaha! What a way to die!”

A teenage girl was rolling on the floor, laughing until her tears came out.

Standing next to her, Glen was grimacing.

After dying, he found himself in this empty space. When he saw this lovely girl, he thought it was going to be the cliched goddess giving out cheat skills, but all he got was being mercilessly laughed at, because of the way he died on Earth.

“ENOUGH! Now give me my cheat already!! Are you even the goddess!?”

The girl tried to hold the laughter in and wiped her tears.

She stood up, but avoided eye contact with Glen. She felt like she would laugh all day if she looked at him and recalled the process this man had gone through to die.

“Right, right. Here’s your cheat or whatever.”

The girl snapped her fingers and a golden box appeared. It conveniently opened by itself and presented to Glen a crystal cube, a beautiful item which looked like a rainbow materialized into solid matter.

“Finally. This part’s always so tedious to go through.”

Glen complained while taking the cube from the box.

“Oh? What do you mean? Is this not the first time you die?”

Glen was referring to the otherworld-themed novels he read on the internet, but the girl was oblivious to them. Thus, she misunderstood Glen’s words for something else.

“I’ve died and come to different worlds to make harems in my dreams countless times already, so it’s about time those dreams be realized.”

Glen said while staring into the distance.

He thought, “This must be how it feels like for a medical student to finally graduate after eight years of university. The difference is they only lost money while I lost my life. But this price is worthwhile. Anything for the otherworld cliche!”

“Huh. In any case, I don’t have to follow the script anymore. I’ll thank you for that.”

The girl snapped her fingers again, and the golden box disappeared.

“Why are you giving out cheats anyway?”

Glen asked while examining the seven-colored cube.

“I don’t really know. I heard the top brass say that it’s trending, so they’re taking the opportunity to promote their religions. You know, marketing and whatnot.”

“Their religions? Who’re they? The gods?”

“Yeah, the gods.”

“Hold up. If they’re your boss, then who’re you?”

“I’m just a poster angel at one of the god restaurants.”

“Ehh… why are you doing the job of a goddess, then?”

“I heard that this PR campaign has been pretty successful, so the number of protagonists receiving cheats overwhelms the number of goddesses. That’s why they’re just hiring common angels to read generic lines off a script nowadays.”

“Woa… this is a noble genre, please don’t make it seem like a fast-food joint.”

“Huh. What’s noble about turning invincible then commit crimes?”

The poster angel has taken peeks at the life of cheat protagonists before, out of curiosity, but she didn’t understand them.

“You mean the anti-hero maniacs who seriously want to become demon kings?”

“I don’t know those terms, but most of them would eventually destroy the worlds they were sent to. Pillaging, rape, mass genocide… those sorts of thing, but on a much larger scale than just local crimes.”

Glen couldn’t help but sigh. He knew too well people like that existed.

“Why are the the big-shots letting those maniacs through then?”

“Well, in your world, do you call the police to check on a customer’s background before selling them hamburgers? It’s the same thing.”

“Ahh… I get it now.”

“Moreover, they’re making use of the trend to filter out dying worlds as well.”

“Is it like… forest thinning?”

“Oh! You’re smart, for a guy who died because of bird poop.”

“I’ll kill you!!!”

Glen was about to jump at the girl, but he lost the motivation after seeing her nonchalant face. She seemed confident that he wouldn’t be able to harm her.

“You’re seeing me here, but I’m not actually here. This is just an avatar.”

“Oh, that explains it…… Anyway, you sure know a lot.”

“Nope. All of this are common sense in our realm. Everyone knows.”

“I see.”

A moment of silence swept over the two, until Glen broke the ice.

“Back to the topic, how do you activate this cube?”

“Oh, uh, just place it on your forehead.”

“Okay.”

Glen placed the crystal cube on his forehead.

Immeditely, it sank into his head, and his body began to change. He grew taller; all of his excessive fat vanished; he became muscular with rows of abs.

And lastly, in his mind, he saw a status panel just like in novels.

All stats were at 999, and he possessed every type of skill and magic the author could cook up in his twisted mind. But for the story’s pupose, the narrator shall turn it into『every skill and spell ever existed.』And that was how a living cheat was born.

“Wow, this feeling is pretty amazing.”

Glen turned from a scrawny bean pole into a muscular attractive man in a blink of an eye. With the skill『Analyze』he also found out that his symbol of manliness has also evolved. With this appearance and strength, Glen could be a『predator』on Earth.

However, his vain glory was splashed with a bucket of cold water.

“I know it feels good, but don’t indulge in it. This figure of yours is only average for a male in the world you’re going to. You’ll run into guys that are taller, more handsome, and of course, manlier than you quite often.”

“Seriously? Don’t tell me these stats are also garbage?”

“Of course they’re not. Else there wouldn’t be any point in calling it a cheat. In the first place, the author’s obsessed with the otherworld cheat trope!”

“Oh, yeah… You’re right.”

As a comparison, Glen is 999 times stronger than everyone else.

Yes, not 777, but 999!

“Now then, the world you’re going to is called Archeim.”

“Why does that sound like a Norse realm?”

“It is connected to the Yggdrasil, but it doesn’t play by her rules, so you shouldn’t view things there through a Norse mythology scope. Rely on your skills.”

“Was that part of your script, too?”

“The part about Yggdrasil, yes. The rest is just my advice.”

“Huh. Why do you care?”

Before Glen even heard her reply, he lost consciousness and fell into a portal under his feet. He soared through the air like a meteorite while unconscious.

←Chapter 1 — Cheat Parody — Chapter 3→