Chapter 3

Good day, everyone. This is your narrator.

Today, we have a debut interview with Author-sensei himself.

Hello, Author-sensei.

“Hi, Narrator-san.”

First off, in which direction will you be taking this series?

“Right, about that, although I’d love to get more practice in by filling 90% of the series with lewd actions, in reality, I also wish to keep each female character relevant to a certain degree. Therefore, I’m incapable of putting sex into every chapter.”

On that note, how many heroines will appear in the story?

“二百である!——is what I sincerely wish I could say, but 200 is an unreasonable number for an amateur porn writer, so I’m gonna have to trim it all the way down to 20 or less. After all, I don’t want the female characters I create to appear cheap.”

Right. Will everything in the series be a parody?

“Unlikely. I know, the title is Cheat Parody, but if there’s a constant amount of it, I fear that people will get tired of it eventually. Therefore, I’ll only parody the most generic of cliches.”

Okay, we’re running out of space, so let’s cut the interview here, but rest assured that we will come back for part two in future chapters of Cheat Parody!


The Generic First Enemy

When Glen came to his senses, he’d just passed by the clouds. Below was a dense forest, and he was freefalling straight into the sea of trees.

“WHOA! BAD! THIS IS BAD!!”

Although Glen freaked out at first, he remembered that he’d become a living cheat and began searching through the many archives of magic in his head. There was no spell which Glen couldn’t use, so he believed that flight magic would be easy as well.

“Fly!”

Skipping the incantation, Glen directly formed the magic circle in his mind thanks to his magic-related stats, then he easily activated flight magic to float in the air.

“Phew, that was close……”

Glen breathed a sigh of relief before surveying his surroundings.

Below him was a forest with many types of plant life which Glen had never seen before. Off in the far distance, he could see snowy mountain ranges. Above his head was a clear, blue sky similar to the one he grew up with in the countryside.

The only difference was how fresh and clean the air was, compared to Planet Earth.

“First, let’s find a town or something……”

Glen dug through his memory and found the skill『Mind Map』. With this skill, he was able to easily map the entire area of one kilometer in radius around him.

However, he didn’t find any interesting place in that area.

Thus, Glen used flight magic to fly around and complete the map of the forest. With his speed, it didn’t take long before he had the entire forest mapped in his head.

“There’s an underground dungeon right over there.”

Glen turned around and flew toward that dungeon. He wanted to experiment with his powers, so the best targets could only be stray monsters in the wild.

Glen quietly landed then entered the dungeon.

As he went deeper inside, the entrance hallway led him further below the ground. It became pitch dark very quickly as the sun couldn’t reach all the way down. After all, the tree foliage above was already preventing sunlight from reaching the ground.

And his first enemy appeared.

“Ah… of course, it’s a Slime.”

Glen approached and punched it at full strength.

The whole dungeon shook as the ground was destroyed, however, the slime’s broken body pieces quickly reunited, and it became whole again.

“Ha ha…… How very Slime-like.”

Glen used『Analyze』on the monster and found out that it wasn’t an ordinary slime. This type of slime was truly immune to physical attack, which was something common slimes wouldn’t have. In addition, this type could also morph.

While Glen was reading information about it from his brain, the slime recovered and began morphing into a different form——it became a brown wereworlf.

“Divine Vision!”

Glen activated the skill『Divine Vision』and found the position of the slime’s core inside the werewolf’s body. It was moving around near the heart area. With that information, Glen dashed forward and drove his hand into the werewolf’ chest.

Then, when he pulled out, he was holding a black marcle in his hand.

Even though the slime morphed and gained some stats bonus, but it was no match against Glen’s speed. The monster couldn’t catch up with his attack at all.

Therefore, once the core left its body, the werewolf turned into a puddle of goo.

“Seems like it’ll regenerate if I don’t cut the mana link……”

Glen learned from『Analyze』that slimes could perform rebirth if the core was left alone for too long, so he quickly used his mana to crush the magical power left inside the core after removing it from the slime’s body.

At that moment, Glen’s『Divine Vision』noticed that 75% of the goo puddle was absorbed by the dungeon in order to spawn a new young slime somewhere else.

Glen used spatial magic to gather the goo left behind and went deeper into the dungeon. Needless to say, that last bit of goo was a drop from the monster.

However, at the time, Glen had no idea that this transparent slime goo was a rare drop. Normally, a slime’s body would turn into mana and be absorbed by either nature or its home dungeon after its core had been destroyed.

Sometimes, part of its body would remain, and that was a rare drop.

When Glen analyzed the goo, he only learned about its use, which was a useful substance in alchemy. It could also be used as mere lubricant for various purposes.

“This goo is useful indeed. Also, alchemy exists in this world, huh……”

As Glen continued into the dungeon, more and more slimes appeared.

They morphed into both werewolves and normal wolves. They immiated the way wolves hunt in pack and tried to corner Glen, but they didn’t have brains, so their tactics were nothing but child’s play to him.

Glen dashed around and collected all the cores from the transformed slimes.

Then he cut all the mana links, turning all of them back into goo puddles.

Thanks to Glen’s Luck stats, every slime he killed left some goo behind. Glen was still oblivious to this, because he didn’t know Luck was also included in his cheat. Though, it would only affect the drops from defeating monsters and nothing else.

“I hope this goo will fetch me some money at a town.”

Using spatial magic, Glen gathered all the slime goo into a big ball of liquid.

Suddenly, he realized it.

“Ah! I’m an idiot! I should’ve followed the cliche!!”

Glen searched his memory and activated a skill which all cheat protagonists in fantasy novels would eventually come to have: the Item Box. However, in Glen’s case, he merged the skill with spatial magic and created an unlimited storage dimension for himself. This was a benefit of being a living cheat who had attained everything.

When Glen activated his storage dimension, a small rectangular portal appeared in the air. The slime he’d collected was easily sucked into that little portal. And when it closed, it left nothing behind; not a single trace of dimensional gaps.

In Glen’s head, however, he could feel the existence of his storage dimension, as well as the slime goo stored inside it. It was convenient enough to please the living cheat.

←Chapter 2 — Cheat Parody — Chapter 4→