「 Margo-oneesama told me this: 」
A room with just two of us. We sit down on the bed and talk.
Tsukiko gently caresses my hands and continues her talk.
「 First experience is the most important in sex. The first experience sets the standard in sex, it becomes a benchmark 」
「 Misuzu-sama, Ruriko-sama, and everyone else had Kou-sama as their first experience, and they don’t see a bad image in sex as a result 」
It’s the women I had sex with.
「 Naturally, that applies to Yomiko, Luna, and me. Kou-sama’s sincere and warm heart is shown through sex, and it soaks into our minds and bodies. We were a bit scared and puzzled, but after having sex with Kou-sama, we feel nothing but refreshed. It made us feel glad that we did it with Kou-sama 」
「 As Margo-oneesama said, sex with Kou-sama is about an act of love 」
Act of love.
「 Yes, as said, an act of love wouldn’t make you feel fear from sex. 」
Minaho-neesan, Nagisa and the other seniors’ first experience were Shirasaka Sousuke raping them.
「 If our first experience were something scary then I don’t think we would be smiling as much as we do now. Maybe, we’d be trembling in fear and never want to have sex again 」
Looking at Tsukiko’s earnest face, I noticed something.
「 Tsukiko, you saw Minaho-neesan and the seniors’ past, didn’t you? 」
「 Yes, they showed me a bit of their memories in the past 」
The fear of a man raping them.
The sad and miserable look they had.
And then, their despair for the future.
「 I think that if Kou-sama hadn’t been our partner, then we would’ve gone through such a horrible experience as well. I might be able to endure it but thinking about my sisters, I feel glad that it was Kou-ama 」
「 And, I understand. To Misuzu-sama and everyone, Yomiko and Luna, the first experience with Kou-sama let them recognize that sex is something beautiful, it frees their minds, and they feel Kou-sama’s love. They only understand the word rape as a spice for enjoying sex, and nothing else, do they? 」
Misuzu and Ruriko think that way, yes.
「 Kou-sama also don’t hold the desire to be sadistic towards women 」
If I were a real sadist, then I’d continue to have sex no matter how much the woman suffers.
But, earlier, when I was forcing Tsukiko to fellatio, she looked like she’s suffering, so I immediately stopped.
In short, my desires don’t scale to SM plays.
「 To everyone, having sex with Kou-sama is nothing but fun. It’s an enjoyable and safe activity. Kou-sama, you never do anything that would adversely affect our mind and bodies 」
Yeah, I never want to do anything that would hurt my women.
「 That is why we couldn’t have sex with anyone but Kou-sama now. The fun we feel doesn’t come from anyone but only from Kou-sama. We trust Kou-sama and feel safe in your arms 」
I get that.
「 Therefore, even when Misuzu-sama and others find a partner for Kou-sama to ease up your rape impulse, they won’t feel any dark emotions from it. No matter what kind of form it becomes, having sex with Kou-sama is nothing but fun and safe, -is what their belief would say 」
Yeah, in the end, the other party would trust me that I’d make them happy.
That’ll only increase the family again.
Therefore, Misuzu and the girls try to find women who are cute and have a good personality.
They’re convinced that I hold a fantastic power.
「 But, Kou-sama, that’s not the case for you, is it? 」
Tsukiko reads my mind.
「 Kou-sama, your first experience was a bitter memory 」
I lost to my desires and raped Yukino.
That was my first experience.
Yukino hates me, so she’d never want me as her partner.
That wasn’t an act of love.
The more I rape her, the more distance it creates between us.
I’m the rapist, and she’s the raped woman.
Our relationship is nothing but perpetrator and victim.
She’ll never open up to me. We’ll never understand each other.
But that hurts me.
I raped Yukino a lot of times.
I was hoping to quench my thirst from raping her, and yet,
The more I do it, the more I feel the craving.
「 Yukino, she… she stole and ate rice from the rice cooker in the middle of the night 」
She took the pot and scooped the rice from there and stuffed her cheeks with rice.
「 Seeing that shameful look in her, it made me understand that we can never reach an understanding 」
Yukino’s life will never overlap with mine.
「 Having that thought, it made me laugh. It past through despair and I felt refreshed 」
Yukino and I will never understand each other.
「 From then on, I keep company with her but with a distance. I can’t do anything on what’s impossible 」
That’s what I think.
「 But, in reality, you want to get along with Yukino-san, don’t you? 」
「 Well yes, but no, we’re doing okay at least. I can talk to Yukino like normal. It’s just that there’s a deep trench in between us 」
Either way, I know that we will never understand each other.
I can talk to her without reserve.
That’s how it is.
「 Is that so? 」
Tsukikolooks into my eyes and mutters.
「 Yukino’s not really a big deal 」
「 The problem is that Misuzu and everyone else overestimates me. They trust me that it would be fun as long as I’m their partner in sex, and I have to respond to their trust 」
Misuzu and Ruriko are both successors of Kouzuki house. That creates insecurity to them.
Agnes and Luna need someone to protect them. Their insecurity is that they can’t live unless someone protects them.
Nei and Edie seek family. That’s their insecurity.
Michi seeks a bond between us. Her relationship with her family isn’t going smoothly.
That’s true for Megu as well. She seeks a bond more than a family or a foster home.
Anyway, the young group all seeks trust and security from me.
One that their real family couldn’t give them.
Therefore, I can’t betray them.
「 But, Kou-sama 」
「 You’re so desperate in answering everyone’s expectations, and yet, Kou-sama’s own insecurities aren’t appeased from having sex with everyone 」
「 Kou-sama, if all you do is have sex like it’s work, then it won’t be fun 」
I’m not having fun in sex.
But I have no choice.
So many girls every day.
If they ask for it, then I have to satisfy them.
「 That creates distortion in your mind, and that frustration makes you want to have rape-like sex 」
Is that so?
Rape-like sex means that I care less compared to having ordinary sex.
It’s all to expel the emotions inside of me.
「 But that doesn’t resolve my problems 」
Nei brought Kana-senpai as someone to eliminate my rape impulse.
In fact, I had fun ravishing Kana-senpai. I was fired up.
In the end, I wasn’t able to continue raping Kana-senpai.
I felt that I want Kana-senpai to enjoy sex too.
In the end, Kana-senpai also became my woman.
Women who trust me, and I have to satisfy desires have increased by one.
Our next sex won’t be rape anymore.
「 This is a problem 」
「 Tsukiko, what do you think I should do? 」
I unconsciously asked this lady who’s a year older than me.
「 I don’t know. I didn’t understand the meaning of sex until yesterday 」
Tsukiko and her sisters were raised without knowledge about sex.
Their fate was to become a shrine maiden and become partners of the big bosses of Yakuza.
It’s probably their parents who judged that their children won’t be able to bear it if they have knowledge about sex and love.
「 I mean, what did Minaho-neesan and Margo-san tell you about my problem, Tsukiko? 」
Why won’t Minaho-neesan talk to me directly?
Even if Tsukiko reads my mind.
Isn’t it a bit harsh to have Tsukiko as my counselor?
She just lost her virginity last night.
「 That’s because they judged that I could think together with Kou-sama if it was me 」
「 Kuromori Minaho-sama and her group are already adults. They can give Kou-sama advice as an elder 」
They’ll show a clear path on what should I do.
「 Perhaps, they’ll have an answer on how they’ll do it themselves. But they don’t think that they should give it to Kou-sama bluntly 」
「 Why? 」
Minaho-neesan, Margo-san, Katsuko-nee, Nagisa.
I want them to teach me the answer I need to know.
「 That’s because Kou-sama, your life is your own 」
「 They must be thinking that Kou-sama must be the one to arrive on the best answer you could have for your life 」
They’re starting a new life because they can’t abandon their past as former prostitutes.
Margo-san, she feels despair that she can’t return home to her Indian settlement.
First of all, Minaho-neesan, Margo-san, and the group were victims of sex crimes.
I’m a perpetrator.
Our premise is different.
「 I think that my existence is a tool for Kou-sama to find your way to end your suffering 」
Tsukiko reads my mind.
If I try to fool myself and have a half-baked response, then,
Tsukiko will expose that I lost my way.
As long as Tsukiko looks at me, I should be able to find my answer.
「 For me too, I think 」
Tsukiko looks down
「 I must find an answer to my future 」
「 What do you mean? 」
「 About the question whether it’s okay for us to depend on Kou-sama to save us from our fate 」
「 That’s okay. You’re already my woman. I’ll protect you three no matter what 」
I’ve made my resolve.
「 No, I, the descendant of the Takakura shrine maiden must solve it myself 」
「 Please take care of Luna and Yomiko. But, seeing Kou-sama’s heart, I feel like I shouldn’t cling and ask for Kou-sama’s help 」
「 The problems of Takakura shrine are ours, to begin with, and it’s not something Kou-sama should step in 」
Jii-chan asked me to give Tsukiko and the two an aptitude test for prostitutes, that’s all.
Truth to be told, me fighting with the Kansai Yakuza is absurd.
It’s Jii-chan and Kouzuki SS that are fighting the Kansai Yakuza in front.
Our organization, Kuromori, has nothing to do with it.
We’re not Jii-chan’s subordinates.
I wanted to make the sisters my women.
Therefore, I thought that it’s necessary to poke my nose to the conflict.
「 Nonetheless, I will go to the hotel alone 」
「 Kou-sama, you must stay alive for everyone. You cannot go to dangerous places 」
「 No, I should tell you that, Tsukiko 」
「 I am the next shrine maiden 」
「 It’ll be okay. Kouzuki-sama will never hand me to the bosses, I think 」
It’s too late for him to give back Tsukiko to the Yakuza.
Even assigning Tsukiko as the next shrine maiden and have the two big bosses do the arbitration ritual.
But, “what if”
「 Sorry, Tsukiko 」
「 It’s obvious to you that I’m an unreliable man, I knew it 」
That’s why Tsukiko refuses to have me accompany her to the hotel.
I’m just a hindrance to her.
I’ve betrayed Tsukiko’s expectations.
She’d never trust a man like me.
「 Even so, I’ll do my best. I beg you, leave this to me. I don’t want to let Tsukiko go alone. I…! 」
「 Kou-sama 」
Tsukiko hugs me and knocks me down to the bed.
「 Please embrace me tight 」
「 Okay 」
「 I hug Tsukiko’s soft body 」
「 I’m happy that you say that, Kou-sama. I really am, but 」
Tsukiko rubs her nose to mine.
「 You can’t do that. If you keep doing that, you’ll reach a point where you’ll break 」
「 Kou-sama, you’re too nice 」
Is being nice not okay?
「 We’re thankful for what you did to us sisters. We’re grateful. Actually, the three of us should be in tatters. Yomiko, Luna, and I could’ve been separated and turned to prostitutes. Thanks to Kou-sama, Luna and Yomiko won’t have to part. I think that they’ll be happy as a part of this family 」
「 Stay here too, Tsukiko 」
I said. Tsukiko doesn’t reply to it.
「 Us sisters have lived as the daughters of the Takakura shrine, the succeeding shrine maidens. We’ve been training for it since our birth. Therefore, we never thought we could marry a loved one like an ordinary woman. We were prepared to marry the man appointed to us and bear that man’s child 」
Then suddenly, it was me.
「 Therefore, Yomiko and Luna won’t resist becoming Kou-sama’s woman. 」 Ordinary marriage and married life were irrelevant to us. Please treat them however you want, Kou-sama, sex slave or pregnant slave, it doesn’t matter. My little sisters will be happy to be under Kou-sama’s rule, I think 」
Why are you saying that?
「 In our case, It’s our personal history. 」
「 But, from this point onward, Kuromori Minaho-sama told me that next week, several prostitute candidates will visit the mansion again 」
I’ve heard that earlier, yes?
「 You must never show affection to them like how you did to us. 」
Don’t give affection to the girls coming next week?
「 If it’s Kou-sama, you’d feel pity for the next week’s prostitute candidates, and try to add them to your women instead of making them prostitutes, I think 」
I feel the same sentiments.
I worry that I might make the girls I have sex with my family instead.
「 You can’t! 」
Tsukiko scolds me.
「 Why? 」
「 We don’t know what kind of reason they have to want to become a prostitute but either way, they should have a compelling reason to do so 」
「 For example, their family’s business has failed, and so they need a lot of money. Or maybe, becoming a prostitute serves as training just like how it was for us 」
If there’s no big reason, then a girl at an appropriate age won’t accept becoming a prostitute.
「 For us, we didn’t understand the work of a prostitute. But, I now understand how repulsive it is after seeing from their memories 」
Tsukiko accessed Minaho-neesan’s memories.
「 If we understood what it means to become a prostitute from the beginning then I probably wouldn’t have sex that I’ll become one 」
Jii-chan cleverly guided them to the idea of becoming a prostitute.
「 But, the people coming next week perhaps know what being a prostitute means, far from understanding it, and they have accepted the fate that they will become one 」
An ordinary girl definitely will.
「 I don’t think that Kou-sama should crush down their resolve. Also… 」
「 Their reason for why they became prostitute won’t disappear 」
I see. If they want to become a prostitute to pay off their parents’ debt, then,
If I were to make that girl my woman, then,
I have to pay for that debt.
「 I don’t even have money. 」
There’s a limit on how much I could borrow from Minaho-neesan and Jii-chan.
And the main point is I don’t know if they would lend me.
There’s nothing I can do about that.
「 Kou-sama, there are also fate that you can’t save people from 」
Women I can’t help out exist.
「 Please understand that. Kou-sama, I know that you’re kind to the girls who can reach out. Just like how you hold me gently right now 」
「 But, girls out of your reach can’t be saved. Please understand that 」
Girls I can’t save.
「 I think I’ll be told to become the instructor for the candidates coming next week 」
Just like how they told me to give Tsukiko and the two an aptitude test.
「 Then, after having sex with a girl, can you abandon her? Will you let her become a prostitute? 」
「 You must 」
「 Kou-sama will teach them about sex, that’s your help. You must tell them “Do your best in life” 」
Is that all I can do?
「 That’s not it. A person receiving support can do their best no matter how hard times can be. They’ll stand firm. They’ll endure. That’s very important! 」
「 Kou-sama, it’s impossible to love all the women you encounter. You must understand the difference between Misuzu-sama and everyone, and Yukino, a person within your reach and out of your reach. Please show more love to the women within your reach more than ever. Then, please give up on girls out of your reach 」
Is that all I can do?
No, I know that the number of people I can hold is reaching its limits.
if I accept more women than I have now then I might neglect those that I already have now.
If that’s the case,
Even if I try to help out those girls within my reach.
I must give up on those out of my reach.
「 Therefore, Kou-sama, please support Tsukiko 」
Tsukiko smiles, looking lonely.
「 I will go alone. Kou-sama, you’re embracing me in your arms now but, I’ll go to a place where you can’t reach me 」
「 Don’t say that Tsukiko! 」
I hug Tsukiko with all my strength.
「 Aah, Kou-sama. Please give Tsukiko the courage to face all those scary people 」
「 I don’t want to give you just courage. I’m going too, I won’t let Tsukiko go alone! 」
「 No, just courage is enough 」
「 As long as I have courage, I, Tsukiko, can do my best. I will fight the bosses and Kiyomi-sama as the next Takakura shrine maiden!!! 」