It had been a week since Evelyn and I had returned to my world.
I beat her fiancé and got her back with her family blessing (probably). I wish I could say that everything return normal after coming back. But that will be lie. After what happen, not everything same as before when I’m back. Yes, that’s including my relationship with Evelyn. Our relationship pretty much still in rocky.
While still feeling guilty about everything she did. Evelyn truly did her best to make up for me. I would give her flying color with that one. Still, I still can’t forget about the fact that she trying to fooling me and deceived me or hiding something from me.
Yeah, I still can’t forget about that… And it will coming back to me even with a week of full sex! I also still carry another problem. My anger issues! Yup, anger and trust issues together make my life living hell despite having Evelyn back!
The hardest part is that we know both that I didn’t love her… but even so… she still wanted to be with me. That what made us a decision that we need to put this behind us as this will strained our relationship.
So, I went and see Grace while bringing Evelyn with me. And I would like to say that was one of big mistake I had! That’s quite mess…. Well, in short explanation, it another cats fight. And for full detail, that’s for another story.
Yup, after the mess… Grace recommended me that we should try counseling and give me the contact of best counselor she knew. She told that this counselor is very good. I could only hope she had been right about this. I immediately contact the counselor and set up the meeting.
Now, we were sitting on one long sofa opposite her. The counselor was mid-twenties beauty and looks very professional.
“So, Ogawa-san. Can tell me what’s in your mind?” The beautiful counselor asked a smile.
I nodded as I looked around, trying to get comfortable in my new environment. The office was comfortable enough, with nice professional colors that made you feel at home. I supposed it worked well for such situations, so that people felt comfortable enough to talk about their problems.
I crossed my legs at my ankles and leaned back in a relaxing position. I waited for Evelyn to go first, because I really didn’t know what to say.
“I wanted some advice about a few issues in our relationship and my problem” I responded.
“Go ahead,” The counselor said.
I suddenly felt silent, Evelyn looked at me, “Kyou?”
I sighed, I did not want to go ahead and talk about this. But I had promised Evelyn and I wanted to fix the issues between us so that we could truly be happy. She took my hand in hers and squeezed. As if she could read my mind and tell what I was thinking.
“I have anger issues,” I mumbled. “And trust issues…”
That was probably an understatement, but I wasn’t going to just come out and admit it to a stranger. I mean, just the thought of it was starting to make me uncomfortable.
The counselor gestured me to continue.
I knew I needed to explain better to her since she was still new to our situation, so that she could understand it better. Not only understand it, but be able to help us as well. Which meant I really had to get into my anger issues, and even though I really did not want to talk about it, I decided to do it anyway. Evelyn had always managed to calm me, and I would do this for her.
I had always blamed other people for making me angry, and I was tempted to blame the counselor as well for asking these questions. But I wanted to calm down and try to get through this session without my temper rising. No matter what. I was determined to keep my calm.
“My wife…no… ex-wife,” I cleared my throat as I corrected myself. And thank god for that! I was glad to be rid of that cheating skank.
“My ex-wife cheated on me,” I finally said.
Just even thinking of Yuriko had my anger threatening to come to the surface. Angry at her for doing it in the first place and angry at myself for not knowing it sooner. Not only had she done it behind my back, but I had seen it finally with my own two eyes. I could never erase that from my mind, no matter what. Seeing something and hearing something are two different things. If someone tells you about something, there’s the possibility of it being not true. But when you see something, you can’t un-see it. You can’t just pretend that it is not true.
And that is what had happened to me. I had seen something I couldn’t dispute or deny. I couldn’t un-see it. And it had made me so mad that all I could see was red. Could anyone really blame me? Seeing your wife with someone was never a sight you could just walk away from!
I thought of the time I had beaten up her lover and I had to gone the prison for beating up my ex and her lover. They had wronged me too and while I never regretted beating them up, why had I been punished when I had been wronged??! It was all a load of sh-
“So you are still angry about that?” the counselor’s voice brought me back.
I blinked and looked at her. I immediately took a deep breath and focused on the current conversation.
“Maybe,” I shrugged.
“Are you being honest with yourself and Evelyn?” she asked.
I nodded and she scribbled something in her book.
“What else makes you angry?”
I sighed, “That I had lost everything for beating them up.”
“Them?” she asked, waiting for me to explain what I was talking about or whom in this case.
“My ex and her lover. I beat them both and had to go to prison for it. I did my time, but then I got fired because I went to prison in the first place. Now people look at my past as a way to judge who I am. Twenty years of marriage, I never did anything wrong. And that is what I got in return!”
I remembered the look on my ex’s face when I had been taken away; she had been so happy that I had fallen for her trap. She got everything she wanted, and turned my daughter against me. And no matter the short time I had spent in prison, I had forever become the criminal.
People around Evelyn had called me a criminal too; as if that is all I was and would ever be. What about the man I had been before my stupid ex had put me in a position to beat her and go to prison? What about the man that had honorably fought for Evelyn? What about the man that had helped save Sera? What about the man who had considered killing himself for two years straight but had been strong enough to keep going on?
“And that bothers you?” the counselor asked.
I looked at her, of course it bothered me! It was annoying and not nice to be labeled a criminal all the time.
“You don’t know what I had to go through from that day. My life literally just came crashing down in that one day and I wasn’t even the one who did anything wrong! And now everyone just thinks I am a criminal.”
“Does Ms. Evelyn think of you that way?” she asked again.
I shook my head, of course she didn’t. Despite everything, she had chosen me.
“I understand,” the counselor nodded, then wrote something down again.
“Did you ever think you could have reacted differently in that situation? Perhaps just walked away, or confronted them in a different way?”
I narrowed my eyes at her in question, was she saying or asking me if I should have done something differently. If I should have been nicer about my confrontation?! Hell no!
“I took responsibility for my actions that day, and I served my time,” I responded instead.
There was no use dwelling on it now, what’s done was done. And I stood by my decision.
“I understand,” she calmly said again. “I merely want to know if you wish you could have handled the matter differently. If you could go back in time, would you still do it the same?”
I looked at Evelyn and thought about it for a second. Now that I had her in my life, was it still worth holding on to the anger I had felt all these years? Honestly, that ex bitch didn’t deserve any second of my thoughts, and now that I was finally with Evelyn it didn’t really matter what had happened in the past. In fact, if it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have met her. And I probably would not have found out that my ex had been cheating on me for so long.
“I would,” I finally answered honestly. “But I understand what you are saying. I shouldn’t hold on to the anger now that my life is different now. Is that it?”
“How do you feel about it?” She asked me instead.
“I still think they deserved to be beaten to a pulp, but it’s time to let go now and move on… that’s why I’m here…”
The counselor nodded and talked.
“Anger is a poison that affects you more than the people around you. The wounds you inflict on other people when you are angry can heal, but you get wounded more when you don’t let it go.”
I thought about it for a second and it was true. Even after I had beaten my ex and her stupid lover, I still went to prison. I still lost a job. And I was still here talking about it because it affected the woman I was now trying to build a life with. It was still affecting my life!
“You have to let it go for your own sake. I am not saying forgive your ex-wife, but you should let go of that anger for yourself. From what I gather, you are not that person anymore. Your life is so much more different now. And I believe it much better.”
Indeed it was. I had been though a lot in my life, and it was time to let go of all the negativity and move on with it.
But I had believed in all that once before, that life was too short to spend it on regrets. And that even when harm is done, all you should do is learn from it and move on.
I believed in all that for twenty fucking years, and then it had all gone to hell in one day! Could I really just forget that and move on? But most of my anger at that time had also been at myself, for being a gullible husband. For being such a cliche. And now I would never be able to erase that scene of walking in on my wife and another man having sex! How could I scrub that from my mind? And how it had shattered my confidence?!
“You need to let go, not only for yourself, but for Evelyn.”
The counselor was right. Then I looked at Evelyn and remembered how she had calmed me down and made my life better. I had thought I would never have this again but here we were. She was my girl from another world, and she had given me a new world.
She had revived me in so many ways I had given up on, and if I needed to let go of my past anger for her, then I would do it.
I had served my time and gone through losing my daughter and my job. It was time to push past the anger and move on and be happy.
Yes, I want us to have a fresh start too.
“It is not an easy thing to do, and you will need to communicate whenever you are feeling your anger trying to get the best of you. Holding on to it forever will stop you from fully trusting anyone ever again.”
That was the other thing, wasn’t it? My trust issues. I suppose they went hand in hand, my anger and my trust issues. They had the same source after all. But I wanted to really get over it, I wanted to be happy with Evelyn and trust her with everything. Above all my feelings, whether positive or negative.
“You need to trust the person that you are with now, no matter what happened in the past. Evelyn wasn’t your ex-wife, and the two of you need to talk about everything, even when you might feel angry and frustrated.”
That was true indeed, even I couldn’t argue with that logic. I could not let my past failed relationship ruin my current one with Evelyn.
“I understand,” I nodded, and then looked at Evelyn. “I promise from now on I will trust you with everything, and work on my anger issues. Will you be patient with me as I work on it?”
I nodded, “We will work on it together.”
The counselor smiled slightly and wrote something down.
“And what about you, Ms. Evelyn?”
“I had to leave everything and everyone I know behind to be with Kyou.”
I was happy she was finally talking about it. Leaving her world behind had to be tough, but she was keeping it all in and hiding her sadness sometimes.
“I know I sometimes hide what I am feeling, and it’s wrong.”
The counselor nodded, “True, change can take some time to get used to. But bottling your emotions inside can be bad sometimes. It makes you feel so alone even when you have someone with you who loves you a lot.”
“I know, and if Kyou can work on his anger issue then I can work on not hiding my feelings too. As well as not always telling him important things and keeping them from him.”
“Do you feel guilty for leaving your home behind?” the counselor asked.
“Yes, I do. I feel it at times that I left everyone and never looked back. It feels selfish; I didn’t even think how they felt about my leaving.”
“Don’t you think they would want you to be happy, no matter where you are?”
Evelyn nodded, “Maybe.”
“Do you think that causes your trust issues as well, Kyou? When Ms. Evelyn hides things?”
I thought about the first time I had learned of Leonardo. She had not told me about him, or that she was really a princess. I had been surprised, that was true..
“I don’t know… I hope from now on, we can both work on it,” I replied.
I really hate it when she hid important things from me, but it was a work in progress. I need stop being suspicious.
“And how would you both describe your relationship?” The counselor asked us.
I looked at Evelyn… I seriously don’t know but….I felt a lot of things about her. While I do feel angers toward her, I’m truly grateful that she had brought me out of the funk I had been in before she came along. She had made me feel passionate again. And everything I did then because of her had been fuelled by that passion.
“He makes me happy,” she replied, “and I want to make him happier than me.”
Her response filled me with joy, and I knew I would die trying to make this woman happy every single day of my life. I might not love her right now but… As long I had breath in my body, i would do all I could to ensure she had everything that would always put a smile on her face. That is all I wanted to do now, and from this day forward I silently vowed to do just that.
“It is good to remain passionate for each other and to always keep each other happy,” the counselor nodded. “But you both need to work to keep the relationship healthy and happy. Work together and always be a strong team. And being part of a strong team means not keeping important things from each other, and talking about things that might bother you and make you angry.
Evelyn and I both nodded and agreed with what she was saying. And we were willing to do everything to keep our relationship too. Some of us had even been willing to duel! But that was all in the past, even though I would always protect Evelyn if it ever came to fighting again.
We talked some more about how to work on our issues, and the counselor gave us some very good advice on how to make it work. Before we knew it, our hour was up and I hadn’t even noticed time flying by so fast.
“It seems our time is up, but I will give you one more piece of advice. Why don’t the two of you take some time off for a vacation. Just the two of you relaxing and reconnecting in a beautiful environment.”
That sounded like a wonderful idea and I could not argue with spending some quality time with the woman I loved. Who could argue with that really?
“And while you are there, don’t do anything except focus on one another, okay? Take some time alone to really work on your relationship.”
Oh I planned on focusing on Evelyn, alright. Every angle and inch of her. We would mend our relationship as well of course but hey, who could blame me for not wanting to take my focus off the beautiful woman beside me?!
“Communication is key,” she added. “And when you return, we can resume our session.”
We thanked her and left, preparing to return home.
As soon as we got into the car, I faced Evelyn. I felt better about everything already and realized I had needed the counseling more than I thought I had. It really had been refreshing and good to talk about everything out in the open and begin the process of healing and moving on.
I knew Evelyn still felt a bit guilty for abandoning her world, I could see it in her eyes. But she had begun the process of acceptance as well and I knew she would not keep things from me again. We were both going to be better at this.
“I am really sorry for everything, Kyou. I never want to hurt you.” Evelyn paused while looking at me. “I want to make you happy, always. Even if I fail at it sometimes, know that it my priority to make you happy. I need you in my life, always.”
“I need you in my life too….. I apologize as well for everything. And even throwing my angers to you…”
Evelyn put finger on my lips stopping me. I smiled when she did that.
Yes, we really need that vacation. I suddenly got ideas where we would our time together.
“Would it make you happy to know that I already have something planned for our vacation? I think you are really going to love it!”
She smiled widely, “I am looking forward to it. Anywhere with you is a good place, Kyou. Always.”
“It makes me happy to hear that because I was just going to take you to the house and keep you all to myself.”
She laughed and hit my chest playfully. I was joking of course, but I just wanted to hear her laugh. It was just so beautiful, just like her. And I was so lucky to have such a beautiful and loyal person like her in my life. Especially after everything I had gone through.
Do you think we are meant to be?” She asked, playing with my fingers.
I thought of everything we had been through to finally be together and nodded, “Yes, I do.”
Being together was like magic, it was like the most pure kind of manna and if I could bottle it up and sell it, I would be a very rich man. Because I knew everyone wanted to feel like this. And our connection made the sex we had beyond this world. It wasn’t just hormones, it was because it was us. And that had to mean we were supposed to end up together all along. Didn’t it? I couldn’t think of any other explanation for it ,except that.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else, or with anyone else, except you. You are mine, Evelyn. And I am yours too.”
She smiled, “Of course you are, you would not have interrupted that wedding and fought for me if you were not.”
I laughed, “Do not remind me of that.”
“I was so scared, when I called for you in the arena. But I had faith that what was meant to be would happen,” she said.
I nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, pulling her in for a small hug. I wondered if she could hear my heart beating. Because it beat just for her now, and always.
Even when I had thought I was slipping away in the arena, my determination to get to her had strengthened me. And given me the courage I needed to go on.
“I believe in us, in our relationship,” I told her honestly.
She nodded and looked like she would cry happy tears. I truly believed we would make it work and both be happy. What the counselor had told us, I was willing to put it to good use and work on my issues. It had taken years to mould me into the man that I was, but everything was different now.
It had to be different.
I leaned in and pulled her close, planting my lips on her soft ones. She was ready for me, opening her mouth willingly and showing me just how much she loved me. The kiss was slow and tender, no hurry at all. I savoured her sweet taste and smiled against her mouth. She pulled back and looked at me questioningly.
“What are you thinking about?”
“You,” I replied honestly. “I love kissing you.”
And I did, more than I could ever say or could put into words. But I knew she understood me, because she felt the same way. That was the beautiful thing about loving someone, you just understood them.
She grinned sweetly, “Of course you do.”
We both laughed as we drove away.
I blinked and found myself awake in a room. Hadn’t I just been sleeping? Wasn’t I still sleeping? Was this all a dream? It felt too real to be a dream and I blinked again, trying to get myself awake.
It didn’t work; I was still in the strange room. And the scary thing was that I really had no clue or idea how I had arrived there.
I turned around in the room to gain some idea of where I was and suddenly there was a man standing in front of me. I startled, wondering where he had come from. He just stood there, not making any movement or something that made me feel threatened.
He looked familiar though, where I see him again?
The way he stood so still made him appear not real. Was he an illusion? Was I just making things up with my mind now and seeing things that weren’t real?
“It’s been while, Ogawa Kyousuke”
The man’s voice finally interrupted my thoughts as he spoke. His voice was relaxed, but strong and confident. As if he had the whole world in his palm and was not afraid to let you know it. It made me slightly nervous.
“Do I know you? Have we met?” I asked bunch of question as I start wondering who the hell this familiar man is.
“You can stop wondering, most people refer to me as God,” he said. “And yes, we have met.”
“God?” I said in surprise.
Was he serious? Was this really happening? But then again, with everything I had seen in my life, what was one more weird thing happening to me?
“You can call me God,” he said, introducing himself. “I do have name but… Let’s just stick with God.”
What this God want from lowly human like me?
Wait a minute, I know him! I have seen him in my dream once… right after I was blasted by Emilia’s meteors!
Everything immediately clicked into place, becoming clearer now. I understood it all, and it finally made sense. He was the root of it all. The one who caused everything! He had brought me to Evelyn’s world, but I did not know or understand why. And he was preventing me from leaving. I looked at him again and asked what I wanted to know.
“Why me?” I asked.
He just looked at me bit did not respond. Why I was there and what did it mean for me? Was I dead? Was I going to die? Did he want to punish me for something? Really, the possibilities were endless, and none of them that I could think of at that moment were particularly pleasant.
“Why would you, the Almighty one, want with a lowly human like me?”
I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice. It was probably not a good idea to provoke him, but I wasn’t thinking about it right now. Not at this moment.
He surprised me by bursting into laughter. His voice was strong and boomed in and across the room, sending a shiver down my spine. He slowly raised his hand and clapped, his shoulders shaking with laughter. He looked like any normal man enjoying a joke, and it dawned on me then that God probably had a better sense of humour than I thought.
“Well, before that I need to congratulate you, Kyou. Is that what people around called you, right?”
I frowned, why was he congratulating me?! Should I be worried? I really needed some kind of manual for how to navigate this conversation!
“Congratulations! You really manage to entertain me so well, it is interesting. Not much manages to interest me these days.”
I raised a brow in surprise, was he for real? Had he really brought me up here just so that I could entertain him? I didn’t even believe I was such an interesting person. I had lived a fairly normal life until recently, and there was nothing else that I would call particularly entertaining.
“Is that it, really?” I asked him.
He watched me intently, but didn’t respond.
“Tsk, can I go back then, can I return now?”
He continued watching me for a second before he smirked. As if he found something I had said funny. Honestly, I hadn’t said anything entertaining this time. I really just wanted to get the hell out of this place, wherever it was!
“No, you cannot.”
What did he mean, no? Was he just going to keep me here against my will? I supposed he could, he had the power to after all. And I was powerless to protest or do anything to stop him. So how was I ever getting out of here?!
“You are a very interesting man, Kyou. You might call yourself a lowly being, but you are interesting indeed.”
He said my name in an almost mocking manner and I wondered if he was doing it on purpose or if it was just my imagination.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, now curious about what he meant. What was really going on?
“You are impressive,” he replied.
Before I could ask just how or what I had done to impress him so much to bring me here, he gave a small, crooked smile.
“You managed to change someone’s fate.”
I frowned, wondering what he was talking about and what he meant. And whom he was talking about. Whose fate had I changed? Was it mine? And how really had I managed to do such a thing?
“What are you talking about?” I asked, still confused. “What does all of that mean?” Why was he speaking in freaking riddles?! Why not just say what he wanted to say and not leave me with all these questions!
“You changed the girl’s fate,” he replied.
“What fate? Evelyn’s? What did I change?”
God laughed, getting on my nerves a little. Why couldn’t he just answer my questions quickly?!
“She was supposed to be raped to death by Cyclopes that day.”
….Wait….WHAT?! What the fuck?! Was he being serious? Despite his laughter, he looked serious enough. And I believed he meant what he was saying. As twisted as it was, he really meant it!
“If you had not shown up in that day, that what will happen to her.” he continued nonchalantly.
I felt my anger rise and felt like punching him. How many people could say they punched God and lived to tell about it? Perhaps I would be the first!
He continued speaking, and I clenched my fists by my sides. Trying to control myself and listen to the rest of what he had to say. No matter how much I did not like hearing it. I needed answers.
“Why you telling me this?”
“Well, you know. When I get bored at times, I just randomly transport people across multiverse to dangerous and deadly situations,” he said.
What explanation could there possibly be for such a thing?! Really?!
“To see how they might die or struggle. And you were one of those people, you were supposed to be transported to a forest full of monsters,” he replied.
I listened, my mouth wide open in surprise. Again, he said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. And it should be obvious to anyone who listened what his motives where. As if it made sense to just randomly transport people to dangerous forests. To see how they fared.
“But then I saw you and changed my mind. I really wanted to know how someone in verge of commit suicide could live in another world; a world different from their own. Which is why I randomly transported you to Luben forest.”
“To what end?” I asked, “what did you want to accomplish?”
God smirked again, “You believed yourself to have lived though such a difficult life. Such a tragic life.”
I blinked, was God being sarcastic? I couldn’t really tell but I listened as he continued. I really wanted to understand why he had done all of this. Why he had put me through it all.
“I wanted you to witness someone else’s tragedy. So that you saw their tragic ending.”
“Then I guess I must have badly disappointed you,” I said sarcastically, not happy that he had played with my life like that.
“I was surprised actually! Imagine my pleasant surprise when you not only survived, but managed to do it without any special powers to save you. Just you, as you called yourself, a lowly human.”
I scowled, was he really going to keep using that against me?!
“And you managed to save your Evelyn from a tragic death she was supposed to suffer. You saved her life, and changed her fate.”
I was glad for that too. I couldn’t imagine how life would have turned out had she really died that day. And I didn’t even want to imagine it or think about it.
“Since then, I have just been fascinated by you and really interested in seeing what you would do next. How you would just keep surprising me and surviving interesting situations.”
“Are you really that bored? That you would play with people’s lives like that?!” I asked, feeling my temper rising. “When you should be helping or something?!”
God laughed, his shoulders shaking from the force of it. Nothing was funny at all about this situation. In fact, he was really just pissing me off.
“I don’t care if you are God or not, but you are insane!”
He didn’t respond to my insult but just kept laughing at me, as if I was some amusing thing to him. I was probably just entertaining him again. Unless he transported people to see him all the time, he had probably never had a human shout at him before. So this was probably one of those interesting and funny experiences for him. Bored deity that he was.
“All that power and you just use it to play little games to people? Playing with their fates and seeing how they do in the situations you randomly throw them in?”
I really wanted to understand what he got out of doing such a thing but he was probably just bored and to him doing all of this was fun to him. But he was playing with lives; he had played with my life! He had played with Evelyn’s life and that did not sit well with me.
“Are you satisfied now? Does it make you feel happy when you see people suffer? Do you even feel happiness?” I asked.
He felt bored, and felt surprised. He even felt entertained. Could he feel happy as well? And what would make God happy? It really was something to think about. What if seeing people fighting for their lives made him happy? Did I really want to know an answer like that? And what it did mean for all the people he had transported just because he felt bored. How many had not survived their situations?
God continued laughing at me and I suddenly felt as if I was swaying. This was it, I thought, he was finally punishing me for saying so much. Oh well, at least I had given him a piece of my mind.
“No, I am not.” The God smirked.
Suddenly, everything was a blur before me and I couldn’t see the room clearly anymore. Or him.
“And I will call you for another game again, prepare yourself.”
What did that even mean? And why? And when? And what would be the game? I could only hope it didn’t involve transporting me to another world again and putting me in dangerous forests! Or putting Evelyn in danger! I really couldn’t handle that. I tried speaking but my head felt too light and I couldn’t even form a single word correctly.
“I will reward you for your brave efforts and succeeding to entertain me as you have,” his voice said again.
I wondered what that meant again, and I doubted it could be anything good. What was his version of a reward anyway, and did I even want to find out? Was I ready for such a thing? My face probably reflected my doubt in his words because he spoke again to explain his gift or reward, whatever he wanted to call it!
“You shall have the ability to teleport between the multiverse, that is my reward to you.”
I wondered what that reward probably meant just as I felt everything blurring again. Was his reward going to be more of a curse, could I really trust this? That was my final thought.
“Bring it on! If I can overcome your silly game once then I will do it again!”
Because I’m BONDED TO A GODDESS!
“Yes, I am looking forward to our next game.”
Then everything went white as I could heard his laughter.