Alright, guys, I know all of you sort of learned how to provide basic communication since you were toddlers, but there seems to be a massive amount of people who think treating a content creator with basic respect when commenting or talking to them is too much. You get startled like a virgin who popped his first boner every time you find them not dolling you with politeness whenever you talk to them like an asshole.
I mean, I wouldn’t even mind it if it wasn’t so one sided. You comment to me like a dipshit and when I respond in kind, you get all upset like “Jeese, why’d he snap? I just made a rude comment and crapped all over his work, he didn’t have to make it personal.” Since trying to correct these poor behaviors has failed on an individual scale, the Great Demon God Whizzer has stepped off his mighty throne to provide you morons with a couple of pieces of advice on how to handle basic communication.
#1: Don’t make your statements in the form of a question. It’s patronizing.
Example: “Did you know that you have a spelling error in this chapter?”
How the hell am I supposed to answer that? Yes! I did. So, why are you wasting my time reminding me of a thing I already know? Or better yet, if you find a spelling error, just tell me you think you found a spelling error. And do use “I think”, because 9/10 times, you’re wrong!
#2: Don’t ask me something you can answer yourself or hey, try asking others for a change.
Example: “Hey, when is the next chapter of … coming out?”
I have a limited amount of time in my life, and every moment I spend answering your inane questions is a moment taken away from something else. Now… I’m assuming there are stories I write which you’d like to read. Would you rather be reading those stories… or reading me commenting to you for the tenth time about when those stories will come? If you don’t have a time, it’s because it hasn’t been announced yet, and for the most part, I give times. I mean, Hollywood can say a movie will come out in Spring of 2020 and you guy are cool for 12 months. I say my next volume will come out in two months and I need to be asked 8 times the exact fucking hour… no… I shit you not, people wanted me to give them release times on the fucking hour.
#3: Don’t ask me how to fix technical issues with discord/patreon/wordpress.
Example: “The password didn’t work on this chapter.”
I’m not your IT guy. I did write a nice little faq about what to do if your passwords don’t work and I have left them in “Trouble with Passwords” links freaking everywhere, but even with that I still get 3-4 of these comments a week. If I just posted it 20 seconds ago… there is a good chance I posted the wrong thing, and will in fact “correct” it within a few minutes. However, if that isn’t the case chances are, it’s a problem only you have, and maybe you should call the Geek Squad and stop wasting my time!
#4: Stop acting shocked/bewildered/proud you found a spelling mistake.
Example: “Um… the main characters name is Clyburn, but on paragraph five you wrote ‘Clybum jumped up the wall.’ There isn’t some kind of new character named Clybum who showed up for exactly one sentence, right?” -No shit, this is exactly how dumb some of these comments are.
I’m releasing these chapters often the same damn time I write them. I have no formal editor. I do better edits, and those end up in the pdfs which you are welcome to read… when they are done. You want the newest freshest right off the presses content… that means it’s not always the cleanest. Occasionally, there will be spelling mistakes, or worst, actual continuity errors.
Look, I am HAPPY to be referred to with mistakes, in particular when they change the meaning of a sentence. But when you phrase it in a way like you can’t even tell when an obvious spelling error is a spelling error, it just irritates the shit out of me.
#5: Have some freaking patience.
Example: “Um… your release says you release on Tuesdays, and it’s Wednesday somewhere, so where the hell is the next chapter?”
I have made every single release I have promised on time, yet if you went through my PM feed you’d think I was constantly missing releases (by more than a couple of hours). You’d think I was the worst poster ever, despite having kept ridiculously constant with my schedule, despite being so vast. Yet, I did make a mistake. Sorry, I fell really ill the last week.
The last two chapters of WoW were up for the $5 tier on the 5th. They were supposed to unlock one on the 9th and one on the 12th. Yet, all I got was silence. This was the finale of the story where I have 150+ $1 donators… yet I didn’t get a single PM or DM that I can find in my history on discord, Patreon, or my website. (On that note, MSB isn’t my website. I can post on it, but I get NO indicator if you comment to me on MSB, so a comment on the last chapter is almost meaningless unless I go check, not the best way to communicate with me in a hurry.)
And you know what? There might have been some comment I missed, but I’ve received so many phony and bogus “demands” for more chapters that it likely got ignored. That’s what happens when you guys nag me for no reason. It means when you have a reason to actually nag me, not only are the people that need to say something silent, but the few who speak up get ignored.
#6 Early release is early release….
Example: “Um… you asked in a poll last week how we’d feel if you took a break, so without any announcement on your end, I’m going to start acting like you already took that break.”
… Come on guys. Just use your brain five seconds before wasting my time with your brain noise. It’s not hard. If I haven’t announced something, it hasn’t been announced. Just because I talked about doing something doesn’t mean I agreed to do it. Just because I put out a oneshot doesn’t mean I’m picking up a series. Just because I’ve said I’m considering decreasing my work load doesn’t mean I’ve decreased it (I’ve probably put more time into the site in the last two weeks than I did the month prior, completely redesigning it, generating new images, etc… etc… not to mention the speed releasing of WoW, several oneshots, and a few bonus chapters I plan to release soon.) However, if you went by some of my conversations, you’d swear people thought I was on a beach jacking off.
However, it goes beyond that. Early release chapters are early released. Early released images are not finished yet. How about don’t nag me for content that isn’t finished, eh? You paid your dues to be able to see the hottest off the press stuff, and then you seem to grow indignant when it’s not as good as the final stuff? WTF?
So, yeah, I perfectly am happy with comments and feedback. I don’t know where this idea comes from that I’m unapproachable. I just don’t particularly like idiotic comments that waste everyone’s time. As a last point to be made, every single one of you seem to think every comment I make is targeted at you personally. It isn’t. I don’t know you, and there are too many of you to count. This isn’t about you.
If nothing I said applies to you, then this was not targeted at you and you have nothing to be offended about. However, if you find yourself “offended” by this, chances are, you’re an idiot who makes stupid comments… so… cut that shit out. Seriously.
Your Lord and Master,
Whizzer, Demon God