「 Now, Kou-sama. Please get naked 」
Tsukiko tells me to take off my clothes.
My sexual desire is burning up.
I started stripping.
I threw off my shorts and shorts, then my briefs.
My erect penis jumps out.
「 I see that it’s gotten hard 」
She kneels before me and faces my erect penis.
「 Last night, I wasn’t able to see it because I’m a bit nervous 」
「 But you’re okay with it now? 」
「 I don’t think I am, but I will be serving this for the rest of my life 」
She holds it with her trembling hands reverently.
「 If I recall, it’s something like this 」
The cherry-blossom colored tongue of a beautiful 17-year-old girl touches my glans.
Her saliva’s mixing with my rod.
「 T-That feels good, Tsukiko 」
「 Yes. 」 Kou-sama’s feelings are going through. Next would be this, am I correct? 」
Tsukiko reads my mind and stuffs my glans in her mouth.
She wraps me up in her soft lips.
Ooh, I feel the pleasure flowing in my body.
「 T-Tsukiko!! 」
I unconsciously grabbed Tsukiko’s head.
Her hair feels soft and smooth.
「 It’s okay. Please do what you like. I can see through Kou-sama’s heart, I’ll accept whatever you do 」
She smiles gently.
And so I…
Fellatio where the woman doesn’t serve the male genitalia with her mouth but instead,
It’s the male ravishing the mouth of the woman.
Juppu, juppu, juppu!
I hold Tsukiko’s hand and squeeze in my erect penis in her mouth. I thrust my hips violently.
I’m violating her.
I’m ravishing Tsukiko’s beautiful face with my penis.
Juppu, juppu, juppu!
I can’t do this with Misuzu and everyone else.
They all are happy serving me with fellatio, but,
I could never ask my women to do something this violent.
「 It feels good, yes, it feels good, Tsukiko
Ooh, I’m getting used to this feeling of dominating a woman.
I feel way more pleasure when violating the girl than having her serve me.
I’m getting addicted to irrumatio.
「 Aaaah, aaaah, Tsukiko!! 」
I swing my hips.
「 Nguu~ 」
Seems like I pushed too hard.
My glans is poking at Tsukiko’s throat, she’s making a pained face.
「 Ah, sorry!! 」
I pull out my penis in a panic.
「 Keho keho, kehokeho 」
Tsukiko’s coughing violently.
「 A-Are you okay, Tsukiko?! 」
I squat before Tsukiko and pat her back.
「 Keho, I-I’m okay 」
Tsukiko replied with a hoarse voice and smiled after coughing.
「 S-Sorry, I 」
I’ve gotten caught up in the moment.
I didn’t check on Tsukiko’s state enough.
「 That’s not true 」
Tsukiko looks up at me.
「 I see. So that’s how it is 」
She said as if noticing something.
「 I understand Kou-sama little by little now 」
I hear buzzing in my ears again.
Tsukiko holds me with her power to read my mind and her power to make me obey.
「 Let’s change the route 」
「 Seems like my perception and approach to Kou-sama was wrong 」
No, even if you tell me that,
「 Let’s head to the bed for now! 」
Tsukiko stands up elegantly.
She takes off the negligee I tore and got naked.
「 I’m sorry, I’m not used on getting naked in front of Kou-sama, so it feels embarrassing 」
But, she doesn’t hide her naked body.
Her body’s slender, but she’s growing where you’d expect growth.
She’s not a glamour girl, but her body has a beautiful proportion.
Tsukiko has that sex appeal of a shrine maiden.
Furthermore, she shines like the Goddess of the night.
「 T-Thank you 」
「 Uhm, if you praise me that much, I’d feel embarrassed 」
She’s reading my mind, right.
「 Now, let’s go, Kou-sama 」
She reaches out for my hand.
「 O-Okay 」
I stand up and grab Tsukiko’s hand.
We head to the bed.
「 My, does it not hurt swinging around like that? 」
As we hold hands and walk side-by-side, my erect penis keeps on shaking in every step.
Tsukiko seems to find it interesting.
「 No, this is how it is 」
That’s all I can say.
「 Please don’t be embarrassed. I want to know more about Kou-sama. 」
She’s not interested in the men’s physiology but only to me.
「 That’s natural. Kou-sama will be the only man in my life! 」
「 Ah, I’m sorry. Kou-sama suffers when we say that 」
Tsukiko sits down on the bed.
I sit next to her.
We’re still holding hands.
A heart-to-heart connection needs to keep close contact.
Unlike Tsukiko, I can’t read her mind, so I can only imagine, even so,
「 First, what I would like to talk about is; Kou-sama, you’re misunderstanding yourself 」
「 Kou-sama, your desire to oppress women isn’t a rape impulse 」
「 No, you just don’t know 」
I’m a rapist.
I raped Yukino. I did it all just to satisfy my lust.
I’ve been raping girls whenever I have the opportunity as well.
「 I mean, that’s the wrong part.
No, that can’t be.
「 If that’s the case, why did you stop earlier?
Why did I stop irrumatio?
「 No, that’s because Tsukiko’s in pain 」
「 Yes. I felt pain in my throat 」
「 That’s why 」
「 Yes. That’s why 」
Huh? Tsukiko, why repeat what I said?
「 What I mean is that if Kou-sama were really a sadist towards women, then you wouldn’t stop when you saw me suffer, instead, you’ll be unable to stop 」
「 Also, Kou-sama, you’ve been holding your libido ever since you entered this room. 」 Even now you do 」
Tsukiko uses her free hand to touch my penis.
「 To think that it’s this hard and yet you still listen to my story calmly 」
No, that’s wrong.
I’m just holding it to try and look cool for Tsukiko.
In reality, I’m just a wild beast whose sexual desire can’t be suppressed.
I’m just a sexual offender.
「 That’s just the impression you have on yourself 」
Tsukiko strokes my rod.
Pleasure gushes out from my penis.
I want to have sex right now.
「 But you’re not even trying to attack me! 」
Well, that’s because.
「 I don’t want Tsukiko to hate me 」
It’s not just Tsukiko.
I don’t want my women to hate me.
「 Then, if it’s someone you’re okay hating you then you don’t mind going forcefully? 」
I think so.
After all, I did rape Yukino.
Yukino didn’t have feelings for me, no, I knew that she hated me from the start.
Whatever I do, Yukino will never like me. I have a complete understanding that it is impossible.
Therefore, I rape Yukino without hesitation.
「 I really am the worst
I lose to my libido.
「 And, that’s the impression you’re under 」
「 Earlier, I received a lecture from Margo-oneesama 」
「 She seems to be taking lessons in psychology 」
Yeah, Margo-san’s enrolled in the university’s psychology department.
She’s enrolled, but I think she’s not attending classes at all.
Margo-san came to Japan as a foreign student. Then this spring, after graduating from our high school, she needed a track record of advancing to a Japanese university.
But, now that she’s adopted to Kuromori family officially, she now has Japanese nationality.
She can live in Japan even if she’s not an international student.
「 Margo-oneesama’s studying about criminal psychology, especially about sex crimes 」
Margo-san’s born as an American-Indian, yet she’s got blue eyes and blonde hair.
Inside that settlement, she was looked down on and later, gangbanged.
Margo’s father was among the perpetrators.
Her father didn’t want to accept Margo-san as his child because she had blonde hair and blue eyes.
And so, he raped Margo-san together with his friends.
「 I see 」
I’m leaking out Margo-san’s privacy.
「 I won’t tell anyone. I will apologize to Margo-oneesama later 」
「 Then, Margo-oneesama taught me that most of the sex-related crimes in the world aren’t caused by a pent-up sexual desire 」
Sex-crimes aren’t caused by sexual desire, what?
「 Yes. For instance, it seems that the cause is more about the urge to attack someone. Having an urge saying, “I want to beat up someone,” doesn’t include sexual desire in it. “I want to hurt someone, but an adult male won’t do. I might lose in a fight. They might turn tables on me. Then, what now? Oh right! I’ll pick someone weaker than me, let’s attack a woman,” and that’s how they end up with their thoughts. There’s still no sexual desire in there 」
「 However, they won’t accept the idea that “they’ll lose to an adult man so they’ll attack a woman instead” That would mean that they’re admitting that they’re weak. Therefore, to protect their pride, their head changes the meaning and intent. That means that their impulse to attack someone won’t be the origin of it all but instead, “they just wanted to rape a woman from the start. Just wanted to have sex.” That will be their thoughts. 」
Unable to admit that they’re weak, they change their intent to rape inside their head.
「 No, but, won’t that make them still weak as a man if they want to rape a woman? 」
「 That’s just objective thinking. For people who had a strong urge to beat up someone then they won’t be able to accept that they are weak 」
They won’t agree with the thought of “I’m attacking a woman because I’m weak,” so they switch their thoughts to “I just wanted to rape a woman from the start.”
「 Therefore, in case a person commits a crime, then they mostly cause injuries to the woman that in most cases, they couldn’t have sex anymore 」
A rapist that can’t have sex, what?
「 Uhm, that means their penis can’t become like this 」
Tsukiko pats my erect penis.
「 In short, their impulse to inflict injury on a woman doesn’t lead them to have sexual urges 」
I see it now.
That’s why they’re not getting an erection.
「 Even if they performed the sexual act, in the end, they were just attacking a female body, and it’s often seen that their purpose isn’t to satisfy their sexual desire 」
「 According to Margo-oneesama, humans can switch their “urges,” or “desires,” into another 」
「 For example, if a person’s dissatisfied with not being recognized socially, then they have the urge to gain honor. However, they stress-eat, that means that their heart satisfies their appetite. In case they can’t find the original urge, then even if that desire for honor increases, they can’t improve their own status, and so, they replace that impulse with “appetite,” which they can control by themselves, and they try to take that craving away from their mind. 」
Oh, I see now.
Putting the example from earlier, if someone has an urge to hurt others, but they aren’t confident, so they won’t attack adult males.
Therefore, they change their urge to hurt to a sexual urge.
There’s a few who end up with rape cases but if when a man feels “I’m feeling horny, I want to fuck someone,” they then hire a prostitute to have sex with them.
「 In short, desires, and impulse is switched to another. That is also Kou-sama’s case 」
Tsukiko looks at me.
「 I see that Kou-sama has a very strong urge when it comes to sex, but you don’t look like someone who can’t be at ease unless you rape a woman 」
「 Kou-sama’s heart has a distortion indeed. I can feel it. But that distortion isn’t what Kou-sama’s thinking 」
「 Kou-sama, you treasure your family. You cherish them too much that it crushes your heart 」
「 You’re too considerate of everyone, and Kou-sama, you suppress your desires too much. That’s what causes the distortion. 」
Tsukiko’s eyes look into my heart.
「 I’ll ask honestly. Kou-sama, is it fun to have sex with everyone? 」
「 Margo-oneesama’s worried about that the most 」
「 Kou-sama, you’re becoming more and more desperate that it seemed that you forget to enjoy yourself because you always think of everyone 」
「 Misuzu-sama and everyone else has fun when having sex with Kou-sama. They can show their everything to Kou-sama, and they believe that you can fulfill their desires 」
Misuzu, Ruriko, and everyone believe in me.
「 Kou-sama wants to answer everyone’s thoughts, and you are desperate in doing your best 」
I can’t betray them no matter what.
I must meet their expectations.
「 Kou-sama’s already lost the feeling of having fun 」
「 It’s the same even when making bread 」
「 Last night, and this morning, I helped everyone bake some bread 」
Yeah, I late a lot of bread everyone made for me this breakfast.
「 It was my first time to make bread from the dough. But, it was interesting a fun experience 」
Making bread. Fun.
「 Do you feel that way, Kou-sama? 」
To me, making bread is…
It’s a way of living in the future.
I’m learning skills to live in the industry.
After all, I…
I have to feed all of my girls.
With this arms of mine.
I have to make them happy.
「 There’s no time to feel fun at all 」
「 I’m in desperate times right now 」
Just like as Minaho-neesan told Megu.
I’m also desperate about the future.
I’m biting through this hardships.
「 That is Kou-sama’s distortion 」
「 It’s not wrong to be hardworking and be earnest, but Kou-sama would break down if this continues 」
「 I won’t. I can’t. I’m not allowed to 」
If I break down, then I’ll trouble everyone.
I can’t allow myself to be an inconvenience.
After all, I…
「 I understand everyone somehow. Kou-sama, you continue to force yourself. You’re over-strained now 」
「 And that distortion from Kou-sama’s strain is coming out in the wrong direction 」
Tsukiko’s eyes look to every corner of my heart.
She looks for the source of the distortion.
「 It’s the same in bread making and in sex. Kou-sama, you’re always concerned about Misuzu-sama and everyone when having sex that your sexual desire isn’t eased up. Your dissatisfaction and anxiety, and your sexual desire turns to a strong desire to rape 」
「 But, I still raped Yukino. I followed my sexual desire and raped Yukino 」
That night before Golden Week,.
As soon as I raped Yukino, I was unable to stop.
I’ve kept on raping Yukino until morning.
「 Kou-sama’s environment back then and now are different! 」
「 Kou-sama, you keep on fussing about Yukino-san 」
「 That’s obvious, I raped Yukino forcefully 」
「 Wrong. Kou-sama, you wanted to make a way to contact Yukino-san 」
「 That’s why you don’t need to be considerate of her compared to everyone else 」
If I recall, I…
I find it easy to talk to Yukino. I don’t hold back when talking to her.
「 You’re making a proxy inside your head, Kou-sama 」
Hearing that from Tsukiko who can read through my heart, I feel like I can’t excuse myself from it.
「 Kou-sama, you like Yukino-san. You feel a familiarity with her. But, you feel massive guilt towards her 」
I’m always preoccupied with the sins I did on Yukino.
「 Oh, I see 」
I want to get along with Yukino.
Even more than before.
「 But 」
But, most of my women don’t like me getting along with Yukino.
Minaho-neesan and Katsuko-nee still fill hate on Yukino.
Mana. Her distance with her has shortened, but still…
Megu, she’s on all-out when antagonizing Yukino.
「 It’s not allowed 」
「 You treasure everyone else more than your own heart 」
「 But I can’t do anything about it 」
「 That’s one of the distortions 」
「 Kou-sama, if you continue to hold back, then nothing will continue. If you let this distortion grow, then you’ll break down 」
「 And as for the other problem, Misuzu-sama and everyone can’t help but feel fun when living with Kou-sama. Therefore, they want you to enjoy yourself too 」
They all are considerate of me.
「 That’s another one of Kou-sama’s burdens 」
「 What do you mean? 」
「 Misuzu-sama and everyone likes Kou-sama to let loose. And, Misuzu-sama and everyone believes in Kou-sama having a very strong urge to rape 」
Therefore, they offer someone for me to rape.
Do they think that if I do, I can enjoy having sex with Misuzu and everyone?
My strained heart loosens.
「 I think so too 」
「 From my conversation with Kuromori Minaho-sama and all the other senior members, from Margo-oneesama’s psychological study, and now, from reading Kou-sama’s mind, I will do this 」
Tsukiko, the shrine maiden who sees everything tells me.
「 You mean? 」
「 You mean that I’m in a worse situation than I think? 」
「 Yes. That’s what I think 」
The distortions accumulate inside of me.
If this goes on, everything will collapse.
But, Misuzu and everyone looks for rape partners for me,
All of it just to fix my distortion.
But, if I do that, the distortions would only increase.
But I have to meet their expectations.
「 That’s right. Misuzu-sama and everyone trusts Kou-sama 」
They all believe they can let loose everything to me.
Therefore, they can release the darkness in their minds.
I’m not allowed to run away or give up.
「 Geez, what should I do!!! 」