“I don’t recall marrying you!” You defend.
“You…” Megara starts beating on your arm, although with a strength that was weak enough that you didn’t really feel anything. “You’re always saying that! Ever since we were little kids and I lifted my skirt and showed you this and that and you still say that kind of stuff. You even had your way with me earlier. I can’t be anything if I’m not your bride!”
“Stop, stop!” You laugh, roughing up her hair with your hand.
“What the hell am I looking at?” Snow White snaps.
“This great one feels very annoyed watching this.”
“Why did hero never tell us about this childhood friend?” Ariel breaks in with a question.
“Well, because I didn’t remember?” You snap your fingers.
“Amnesia Cliché!” Megara says.
“Don’t give me that, you didn’t remember me either.” You respond.
“I hadn’t seen you in eight years! Eight! And I was just released from an evil brain slug!”
“I’m still here…” Florian looks dejected as we ignore him.
“I don’t get it, what happened?” Kida interjects.
“Maybe I know,” Aurora speaks up. “Were you, perhaps, summoned to this world?”
“Ah, yes! I was!” Megara nods her head.
“Strange,” Grimhilde adds. “I don’t recall any heros being summoned.”
“That’s because I summoned her!” Florian laughs. “I wanted a powerful host, and who is more powerful than a hero from another world. Of course, her ability wasn’t quite as exciting as this one. It was a good time to switch to the stronger hero, yes?”
“What does being a hero have to do with my memory?” You ask, once again ignoring the giant slug in the room.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” Aurora winces. “The magic that brings people from other worlds doesn’t just transport them. It makes everyone who ever knew them forget they existed.”
“Are you saying…” you start, your face scrunching up.
“You weren’t a hero eight years ago. She was summoned to another world, and then her existence was erased from your mind. Even her parents don’t remember her.”
“So, you’re saying everyone I ever knew won’t remember me?” The harem of girls all look over at you sadly, but you merely shrug. “It’s fine. I have a new family here.”
“You won’t for long!” Florian declares.
“Oh, you’re still here?”
“I’ve been here the whole time!”
“Then, go away.” You wave your hand and a second later Florian vanishes.
“Huh? What did you do with my turncoat general?” Maleficant demands.
“I just sent him somewhere far away. He was annoying me.”
“You… I must tell you, my general is no slouch. He is very powerful and his strengths are not to be trifled with.”
“Yeah, yeah… I don’t really care that much.”
“Grrr… to think that you’re the man who defiled this Queen.”
“I still want to discuss this thing about you having a childhood friend, my love!” Grimhilde interrupts her sister.
“Look, that’s the story we’re going with here.”
“But it doesn’t add up!”
“Well, would you rather Megara been in Florian’s body or something? Like they traded places and Megara was actually Florian whom I slept with?”
“I’m who now?” Megara asks, tilting her head.
“Well, no, apparently people have an issue with that.”
“Okay, then. Now excuse me while I go violate Elena.”
“Eh, me?” Elena jumps, and then her smile tightens. “You do realize that I’m actually a boy. Like, the only thing you did was change my penis into a vagina. I still have my mind and my old body, which while feminine looking, is totally a boy’s body.”
“Yeah, apparently no one takes issue with that.”
“But, Megara’s body would have been 100% female. It was just a male mind. That isn’t even the case with m-“
“I don’t see anything hypocritical about that!” Grimhilde agrees.
You grab Elena and start dragging her off to the bedroom for some long delayed sexy time.
“Hey, my fiancée.” Megara grabs your sleeve before you get too far away.
“What is it?”
Suddenly, Megara looks very shy as she lowers her eyes while holding your sleeve. “By all accounts, I really am your childhood friend, right? Like, you didn’t just cast a spell to make me into your childhood friend just so you could meet all the harem tropes, right?”
“You…” Megara sighs.” I just wanted to say… thank you.”
“Huh? For what?”
“I… remember, being summoned to this world. I was brought here as a hero only to be taken over by that slug before I even understood what was happening. I remember being forced to kill. For the last eight years I have merely been a spectator watching as my body performed unimaginable horrors. That part… you didn’t make up.
“Then I awoke from that horror, looking up at your smiling face, with the feeling of you inside me. Then, I felt unimaginable joy at being reunited with my fiancée to the point I even cried. Even if these memories are fake, I don’t want it any other way. No matter what, you’re my childhood friend. You came for me, and you saved me. That is the history I want.”
“Are you saying you want in on this threesome?” You ask, pointing your thumb at Elena.