“What are you doing out here?”
“Oh, the girls said something about Snow White smelling. Guess she didn’t clean herself after the war, so they’re preparing her for insemination.” You respond before realizing who was asking.“Huh, eh? Florian? You’re back in the mansion?”
Florian scratches the back of his neck and laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, well, I got dragged back to the mansion during clean up and sort of got filled in on a little bit of what happened. It turns out I’ve been problematic for you and your city.”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
Florian suddenly bows down, lowering his head. “I’m sorry! I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but in the end you saved me. Thank you!”
“Hey, the reason I kept you alive was because of Nala.”
“Nala? Right, of course.” Florian closes his eyes for a second before straightening himself up while wearing an apprehensive look.
“Nala, she… stopped by shortly after I had woke up.”
“Oh?” You knew she had stopped by his room and it had caused you some distress, but she didn’t stay long so you chose to ignore the lingering jealousy. She’d be wearing a collar soon and then you could rest easy knowing your girls are faithful. “And what did Nala say?”
“She… uh… told me that she liked me.” Florian laughs. “Uh, don’t give me that dark look. She said liked, as in the past tense. She then told me that you, and I’m quoting so excuse my French here, she ‘likes your big, hard dick and “likes to get fucked hard’, she said my ‘tiny bitch dick’ is no longer enough to satisfy her. Then, she ran out of the room crying.”
You can’t help but break out laughing at his apparent description of the events. Besides being shocking words for Nala to declare, they are also shocking words to come out of the ever polite Florian.
“Yeah, so how’d you take it?” You probe cautiously.
Florian chuckles wryly. “I was really jealous and resentful at first. Then, I was just pissed at how much I missed out on! Fuck, Nala’s hot! I could have been ball’s deep in that filthy snatch for days and I fucked it up trying to be the good guy!”
You let out a breath in surprise. Had you been drinking anything, it would have been spit up all over Florian’s face. This was definitely not the kind of words that you ever would have expected to come out of Florian’s mouth.
“You… are you sure you’re alright? The slug didn’t give you brain damage, right?”
Florian let out a laugh, his cheeks only blushing slightly. “Ah, well, earlier today I woke up on the ground after you removed the slug. I was in a pile of naked sexy women surrounded by goblins who were pounding them aggressively. I was so beat up I couldn’t move, but as I lied there with a goblin’s balls rubbing up and down my cheek as he pounded a girl from behind… my nose was shoved up her snatch with her thighs wrapped around my forehead, by the way… It was a first row ticket. You could say I was in the splash zone… ahem… well… as my eyes were stained and I started to loose consciousness, my life flashed before my eyes and I started to reflect on the path I had taken.”
“Naturally…” You fought to keep a straight face as you nod sympathetically.
“You have so many women, and you take and give with extreme prejudice. In another story, you might even be called a monster or a demon. However, here, you’re a hero. You even stopped a demon god… with your penis.”
Florian sighs and continues. “I spent most of my life thinking I knew what was right. I interpreted the world to my own satisfaction. I was convinced of a certain right and a certain wrong, and before I knew it, I was a 20-year-old virgin who had friend zoned every girl he ever knew!”
“Ah, well…” you find yourself at a loss for words.
“It wasn’t always that way.” Florian continues. “I wasn’t always surrounded by women. At first, I was just trying to be the nice guy, thinking women wanted some guy to treat them right. Soon, women started walk all over me. Back on Earth, I was that guy friend who’d they ask to drive them someplace, only to find out that place was their boyfriend’s pad where they were looking to get dick. Had to pick those bitches up after too, drunk and smelling like sex, I’d drive those fucking sluts home and not even get a kiss.
“So, I started to change. I stopped becoming a nice guy and became self-righteous instead. Suddenly, the women wanted to be around me, but every time a girl got close I remembered those fucking bitches who always used me, and I found myself unwilling to even acknowledge their affection. Once I acknowledged their affection, I always thought they’d then start using me again… at least that was where my mind was at.”
“Why are you telling me this? You’re not coming on to me, are you? I mean, I considered turning you into a girl for plot convenience, but that ship has sailed…”
“Uh, yeah… I like my penis where it is, okay…”
“I could give you a vagina as well, apparently that’s a thing people want.”
“Alright. Well, is that all you wanted to say?”
“Hah…” Florian gave another sigh. “I know you don’t want me around your harem. I’d probably be the same way if I had so many hot girls willing to suck dick at a moments notice. I’ll be leaving soon. I just wanted to say… thank you.”
You shrug. “Like I said, it was Nala…”
“No, I’m not thanking you for saving me this time. I mean… about waking me up. I got too self-righteous. I stopped thinking about my own happiness and just did what I arbitrarily decided was the greater good. I got off on being the hero. I got off on girls putting me on the pedestal. And I got so afraid of losing my place on the pedestal I never even took advantage of the girls who put me there. Thanks for giving me a new lease on life. I’ll be going!” Florian gives one more bow before turning and walking away abruptly.
“Hey!” You call as he makes it half way down the hallways. “What do you plan to do now?”
Florian glances back, looking thoughtful for a second, and then laughs. “Head back to the human continent, maybe? Duck those stupid nobles who want to use me, certainly. I think I might seduce a woman or ten. Yeah… become an Adventurer, make some money, buy a mansion, start a harem. Rescue a few damsel, give them six inches.”
“Aren’t you just copying me?” You snort. “Wait, just six inches?”
“Hey, not everyone has a giga penis!” Florian growls back.
The pair of you glare at each other for a few minutes before breaking into laughter. “Hey, at this point you’re probably the closest thing I’ll ever get to a male friend in this novel, so stay out of trouble.”
Florian wipes a tear from his eye and responds indigently. “You’re one to talk! Well, whatever. And hey, in the future, can you not netorare my women, that’d be just super.”
“I promise nothing, but I’ll say I’ve already got enough human girls, so my future women will probably be demihumans, goddesses, and demon lords.”
“Noted. But aren’t you running out of names?”
“Yeah, everyone complains about how the harem is too big, but they don’t realize that Anna and Elsa were the last two big names. The list has been filled. Once I conquer the demon lords the harem is complete.”
“Really? No more women for you?”
“Ah, well, there could always be an Alice, or a Wendy, or an Esmeralda, or a Vanellope von Schweetz…”
“But yeah, with kids now, I’m going to be taking a breather soon. See the sights. Work on training… I mean giving my ladies attention. That kind of stuff.”
“Good luck on that… uh… this conversations turned a little weird, I’m not even 100% sure what we’re talking about, so I’m going to head out.”
“Yeah, See ya, I’m going to go impregnate a goblin.”
“Have fun with that, I’ve… uh… seen all the goblin impregnation… to last… eons…” Florian wears a dark haunted look for a second before shaking out of it and giving a laugh. “Well, to each their own.”
He finally turns away and walks off, only throwing up his hand in a wave as he turns a corner. You give a nod to yourself as you watch him leave, realizing that he and you might not be so different after all. You’re just two guys, thrown into another world, looking to find happiness however they can. And like that, two heroes part ways, forging their own isekai paths to pussy.