“Seriously!” I curse, “What the heck is going on?”
I grab Ariel’s titties.
And miss, falling on my ass.
“Damn it!” I shoot you a hateful glare.
“Seriously?” You ask, “I’m just reading, you are the only one writing this story. Clearly, you’re just writing this yourself.”
“Why would I do that? It makes no sense!” I curse, “You must be using the ‘spirit of the reader’ to usurp your will into my writing. Yes, that’s it.”
“… what? Why you looking at me that way?”
“I’m just checking if that’s really how we’re explaining this. Clearly, you’re writing both parts of this story… you expect me to buy ‘spirit of the reader’?”
“Always a fucking critic.”
“Hey, I’m not the one who’s writing myself getting cucked.”
“Excuse me? Da fuck you say?”
“Oh, what? Didn’t I JUST bang your wife before you came here? Face it, you want me to NTR all the women.”
“There is you using NTR incorrectly again. She’s my fucking ex-wife. How is you sleeping with her NTR? That literally makes no fucking sense.”
“Haha… just admit I fucked your wife!”
I raise an eyebrow. “Okay, you win, you fucked a fictional bitchy ex-wife. I wrote a whore who went and fucked seven other men, had a baby with each of them, and was the literal embodiment of sin.”
“Total catch there, you managed to nail an easily manipulated vindictive hoe who succumbs to your dick with ease. She abandoned this world at the first chance, didn’t bother to raise her many children with multiple men, and calls you a bastard. You scored big with that one. Congrats.”
“Whatever, at least it didn’t occur thanks to some kind of ‘spirit of the reader’ bullshit.”
“You’re going to suck whatever fun I can get out of this web novel, aren’t you…”
“What can I say, I’m an internet commenter, it’s what I do…” You smirk.
“Fair enough…” I sigh, “Then, let us finish this fight!”
“How do they always fight? With impractically over-sized swords!”
I pull out a sword. It is three times my height. It a black blade with wicked carvings that look like demonic script which glow red. If you look into the glowing red cracks they seem to burn and convect like hot magma. The sword gives off a feeling of extreme desperation and darkness. Fear radiates out out of it, carpeting the world in darkness. Most of the townspeople who had been watching this exchange have now passed out by the sheer pressure it gives off.
“This sword was forged with the embers of a collapsing star at the moment of a supernova, the steel was condensed by the black hole that followed. After that, it went on to enslave countless billions, bathing in the blood of entire civilizations until it gain a consciousness. If I wasn’t a God, I would go insane simply wielding this sword. It’s name is the Darkbringer! Now, you go…”
“Pull out your sword.”
“Hah… about that…”
“Damn it… this is a dick measuring contest in the form of impractical swords, I’ve pulled out my dic- I mean sword, now you need to pull yours out. Come on, don’t leave me hanging…”
“Can you not talk about hanging when talking about your dick? Wait, if our swords are our dicks and we slam them together… isn’t that kind of…”
“God damn it, why do you have to ruin everything! Just pull out your damn sword and then we’ll touch the tips!”
“To make it official!”
“I’m not exactly comfortable with…”
“GOD DAMN IT, READER, PULL OUT YOUR GOD DAMN SWORD AND FIGHT ME TO THE DEATH OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I’m JUST GOING TO END THE STORY RIGHT HERE. DO YOU WANT THE ENDING SEX ORGY WITH THE HAREM OR NOT?”
“You’re not gonna be in that sex orgy. Are you?” You ask suspiciously.
“I hate you so much.” I facepalm. “I’ll set back culture twenty years. No Homo… are you happy? Can we continue on?”
“Y-yes… please continue…”
“Then pull out your sword! Remember, you can create anything you can imagine. That means the only limitations of this battle are the limitations of your very mind!
You nod, reaching out and summoning a sword. It looks like a sword. It’s pointy. And silver. And… big?
“I call this sword Pig Fucker… It fucks pigs.”
“I think we both understand why I’m the writer…” I sigh.
“Then, it is time to die! Brace yourself! Darkbringer, kill that Pig Fucker!” I swing down my sword.
“Ah! Pig Fucker! Save me!” You lift your sword to block.
The resulting explosion spreads throughout MSB as the universe that contains PoC shatters.