Damn! Whiteness everywhere!!
He wasn’t sure whether his eyes were open or not, but he saw whiteness; the kind of whiteness of light, the kind of light that would animate even a dead body, the kind that would illuminate a deep cave and have flowers growing inside; brighter than he had ever seen.
What is this? Am I conscious?
I remember, yes… I was walking… And then… the woman and her child.
He felt revolted.
Everyone was like that, right?
They were like that almost every day for four whole years;four fucking years. That woman what was her name? Mrs. Monster? Mrs. Demon? Or, demon Asmodeus; aka fucking piece of shit.
Yes he remembered her when he saw that woman and her child. And he hated that he remembered her, she didn’t deserve to be remembered.
So, why did he push them away from that crappy driver who thought himself superior to the traffic rules? That fucking piece of thrash!
No, not that…
He was walking. The cobbled steps of the old city were wet and slippery. He remembered the green moss on the walls, and the tiny weeds from between the bricks.
Yes, that was it. That just was it.
He was walking, humiliated in the university.
He pretended that he was indifferent to the unfair expulsion. All he had done was help a bullied student from the rich kids that sucked on the wealth of their parents. What was so unfair about that? Of course, it was the unwritten law that rich people have what they want… The law of the jungle in a metropolitan city, the powerful i.e the rich rule; and he? He was at the bottom of that food chain.
But who would see that? There was no god to bring vengeance.
It wasn’t the expulsion that mattered… scratch that; It did matter. It was a door to his potential future. Screw that community university.
No, it’s Monica.
It had to be Monica. That bitch would spread her legs for anyone who could show her money. She was like putty or better, potty in the hands of the rich.
As he walked down the corridors of the university, he had texted Monica. She had seenzoned him.
“What the f-” He mouthed, as he saw Monica and Larry, the fucking bully. That was a real pussy; hiding behind money and ‘law’.
“Hey, boy,” Larry said with the most annoying smirk he had ever seen, “Remember me? You should know your place, you’re a worm and I’m a dragon… Hmmm, looks like your sweetheart Monica realized that, too.”
“Ah, so she’s your slut now?” He said, looking madly at them. “You know what kind of dragon you are? a lizard.”
He held Larry by the collar. Larry, who was visibly much weaker than him, felt panic rush to his head. He punched Larry on the jaw, and then scratched wildly at Monica’s face. It wasn’t until the Security Council arrived that he stopped or was forced to stop his wild and frenzied assault.
Yes. It must be that incident.
He had allowed the primal man in him to take over him. Yet he did not regret it, even though they all sided with the lameness of Larry. They all laughed at him, those imbeciles. He had never been more humiliated. His mother had been a monster, and his father an equally despicable monster… Yet, not even the constant abuse humiliated him so much as being kicked out of a community university, while his girlfriend sucked the toes of the fucker who was responsible for his unfair expulsion. He couldn’t take it.
He walked to buy cup noodles that evening, the events of that day like a distant memory. Only, the humiliation was as fresh as ever.
He looked like he couldn’t care less; but no one would guess the silent tears and screams that escaped his parched throat when he reached home. He looked so carefree, so nonchalant, it was impossible to tell the same of wretched emotions surging inside of him.
And it was in this same sea, he saw that woman and her child, yes.
Then there was the whiteness? Yes, it was the whiteness that made him wake up again.
He had pushed them away from their serene time together, because of that reckless shitty excuse of a driver…
I am probably dead.